…and the pursuit there-of.

Read the following :

happiness 1

A strange statement to make, not so?

But think about it a bit. How much of yourself has been shaped by your hard times rather than your good times? How many decisions did you make for the better when things were tough? And how many for the worst did you make when things were good?

I saw this statement a while ago on FB, It grabbed me when I saw it. And now I’m trying to make sense of the subject matter.

I’ve had a life. Still do. It’s not as difficult as some lives, but it’s not as easy as others. I have ups and downs, as do we all. Often I bemoan my fate. I cry because I don’t have a significant other worth the name. I feel guilty for the screw-ups I made with my kids. Low because of the mistakes I made in life.

But each of these experiences have added something to my life. I’ve not been happy for all of it, and I’ve not been sad for all of it. But I have lived to the best of my ability. I’ve taken the divorce and changed it into a lesson of self-sufficiency. I’ve taken the lack of manners in people and made it my life’s work to teach manners to others – not that they always appreciate it, but that’s their problem.

As the guy states – happiness is not really the default position. Wanting to be happy every day is not a bad thing, but it’s like eating your favourite dish each day. Or a treat. Here in the suck heap, we have a thing called Biltong. It’s dried meat, something like jerky, but it does not taste remotely the same. Biltong is a delicacy. Quite expensive, but really. Oh so tasty!The taste of it after a while without is out of this world. Imagine if you had biltong every day. How long will it be a treat? Probably not for too long. And then it will never be a treat ever again. And that, I think, is the point of that little quip.

Happiness is all fair and good. Something to be desired. Worked towards. But it’s not the default position. It is something you get when everything is just right.

It could be something small, like an empty highway on your way to work. Or a well made cup of tea and a biscuit. But it’s not something that you will always have.

And in order to appreciate it, you have to go through the dark days. The dreary days. The sad days. If you never have to treat your roses with pesticides or against rust or aphids, you will probably not appreciate the beautiful blooms when they appear. They will become the norm if you have not struggled to get said blooms there.

I’t been a mantra of mine for the longest time – if you have not worked for something, you will not appreciate it. If you study for free, the degree will not be as important as it will be when you have to work to pay off said studies. If you have not saved for you house, you will not appreciate one that gets given to you. If you have not earned your salary you will not appreciate it. That’s why I’m against giving. I’m all for learning and teaching and showing and rewards. But never just giving. Just receiving teaches nothing other than accepting. It does not teach perseverance. Fortitude. Being rewarded for a job well done on the other hand, well that does teach us.

One should be grateful for every bad day – they make the good days seem so much brighter.

And, instead of wallowing, we should live on. Through the bad times.

Because everything’s eventual…

The songs I chose should sum up nicely. It can go from bad to worse to brilliant – we should just let it. And sometimes we just have to live with what happened…

7 comments on “Happiness…

    • Glad I said something you could use P – sometimes we need to step outside of ourselves to see the things that does matter.
      Thank you for the wishes and a very Blessed Christmas time for you and yours too.

  1. I hear and agree with you, Ms. G. I must say this is one of your well written and well thought post. Enjoyed reading it. Don’ mind me quoting you with the statement and share it in tumblr. Love frank Sinatra.

  2. What a nice piece of writing. Thank you for sharing it. I have pursued happiness and have always bumped into reality on the way. It is only then when I have truly grown. Enjoyed Sinatra. Here is a little tune that delivers me back to reality.

    In honor of my Puerto Rican wife of 52 years who is now suffering from Alzheimer’s for eight of those wonderful years.

  3. This is a fascinating subject and a fantastic post, Ghia.
    I’ve never understood when anyone wants to f.i.n.d. him- or herself. They want to be happy. What? Put your nose to the grindstone and live your life. One is lucky to be born and have all their parts working. We have not been put on this earth to be happy. That would be boring–too much of a good thing and all that (as you mention). Life is for living, good and bad mixed together. Variety is the spice of life.

  4. Absolutely agree with what you’re saying. People so often demand happiness at the expense of others. They behave as if it is their absolute right and hell to everybody they might trample on to get what they want. And, yes, if one expects too much happiness and it’s not delivered, then depression is likely to follow, and other things like bitterness and resentment.

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