Shits & giggles.

Or something to that effect.

Quite a while ago, I “liked” a FB singles group. Mostly it’s just a bunch of people wallowing in the fact that they’re single, many of them can be conservatively classed as, um, strange, but they often have good little quotes and anecdotes that I can, in turn, share with the rest of the world.

But, since it’s a site for singles, sometimes a friend request from a man will come through and the chatting ensues. First on FB, then you move over to whatsapp or whatever you prefer to use.

This then happened. Friend request from this person. His FB header was a whole lot of Terry Pratchett books, which scored him some major brownie points. Alas.

Brownie points or not, he does not pass muster.

31 years old. Lives with his pensioner mom. Does not have a car. IT guy – typically so with the thin neck, sallow complexion, head too big for his body. And seems to think that the BDSM lifestyle is just the thing for him, He’s a Dom you see. Imagine one of those disbelieving smiley faces and superimpose it on my face. My exact words, after I finished giggling, was that I can’t see myself letting a boy do a man’s work 😉

Apparently he had one of these kinked up relationships. His first one. With an ancient like me. Of course, it goes without saying that all ancients have read the 50 shades of grey crap and just loved the crap out of it and just can’t wait to find some random youngster to try the crap out with. No. Not this particular ancient so much. I hated the book, will not read the rest and am doubtful if I want to see the movie.

And. If I do decide to let somebody tie me up, I have to be 600% certain that he knows what he’s doing. And is comfortable enough in his skin to know when enough is enough. That he’s an actual Alpha male and not just a pip squeak trying to be Alpha because everywhere else in his life he sucks ass!!

Every day humanity throws something at me that I can’t quite grasp. It’s not really surprising, but it is silly. And I’m not in the mood to be the recipient of their inanities anymore.

On the upside, I am chatting to yet another dude, a Rhodesian this time, but he works in Africa somewhere. Not a young man, seems nice so far, laugh at my jokes 😉 Time will tell what, if anything, will happen with that. I am, as ever, cautiously optimistic, but very realistic – life tends to happen when we’re not looking.

Irritations…

They’re never big things.

They are, however, irritating.

Howdy folks. You are the honoured reciients of my first blog post in my new and improved and, above all, ordered study!! Took me three weeks to get it to the state it is currently in, but man was it worth it!! Everything in it’s place and a place for everything – a dream come true! Seems a lot of dreams coming true this year, but that’s for a year end blog 😉

Back to my irritations.

I’ve been extolling the virtues of the iPhone since I got my first one in 2011. As far as I’m concerned, I will never use another phone. My iPhone does what it needs to do, when it needs to do it, with the minimum amount of fuss.

Sure, you have to download apps for this and apps for that, but once you have, you never have to worry about a single thing ever again.

In the more than three years, not a single person in my immediate circle changed to iPhones when their contracts were due. I have to wonder if it’s because people think I don’t know what I’m talking about or that I’m just not trustworthy. Be that as it may, they are ultimately the person that has to make the decision and live with it.

It so happens that my buddy Theo eventually went from Blackberry to iPhone. Of course he got the new iPhone6 of which I am slightly envious, but hey. It is what it is.

After he told me that he made the change, I offered my help. Gladly. Not because I’m so knowledgeable on all the usages of the phone, but because I want his experience to be as smooth as possible.

I get a call a while ago. “DO you know that I want to give back the iphone and get a blackberry?” I’m asked. Why would you do that?

Turns out he’s pissed because you can’t just tell the phone to use a song for a ringtone and it’s done. I knew about this, but honestly. How big of an issue is not having a specific tune as a ringtone? And it’s not insurmountable – there’s an app for that.

My notes did not copy correctly. Well, there’s an app for that too. You just have to do the research.

How do I get the flash to not flash all the time. Seriously? Never push buttons do you? Never wonder what this particular icon does?

Why is there no reminders on the calender? Dude!! Get real!! Of course there’s a reminder function on the phone!! You just need to look at the effing screen and press the bloody plus sign. It’s that easy.

Does it open Office docs? No. Probably not. Since you’re using an Apple device and not a windows device. How difficult is it to just open you internet browser and checking these things?

What apps do I need to download to get this phone to do the things an entry level Nokia can do. Suffice to say, I was slightly pissed at that remark. If you wanted an entry level Nokia, you should have gotten one.

So now, after he’s made the decision to get an iPhone as opposed to the Samsung, and he’s not happy with having to use iTunes because, according to him, it’s unfriendly, I get the blame for it?

Did I hold a gun to your head? Did I force you to get the phone? If you had doubts you should not have gone for it in the first place. But I’ll not let you blame me because you feel that not having your own ringtones on the phone as a big bloody deal!!

I don’t use my phone for office stuff. I don’t open office docs on the phone. That’s what I have a PC for. And the PC I currently have does not even have office on it, so I have to use the work PC for office files.

But I’m really pissed because his attitude is accusing. I will not be held responsible for a decision you made of your own free will. If you’re so weak that people can sway you, don’t make it my problem.

I don’t follow. I don’t lead. I just live my life as I see fit. If you choose to follow, bargain. But don’t blame me for the decisions you make while following!

To top it all, he’s a bloke. And they would rather die than ask for help it would seem…

How ever much unhappy he is with the iPhone, I’m still happy with mine.

And really. It’s just a phone. A communication device. That you’ve only had for the past few years. It’s replaceable, and ultimately, if you really wanted to, you could get along without it.

Really. The more I have to do with humans, the more I like my dogs!!

Hope your weekend was a good one, and the week to follow just brilliant!

Perspectives…

And how different they are

Posted something on FB today. From a website called I’m fed up with your lies and cheating. Something to the effect of when somebody cheats on you, it was their choice. They chose to lie and hurt you. It’s not your fault.

When you look at it superficially, it is true. I was in one of those relationships. Where lies were told regularly, and cheating became the order of the day. That’s neither here nor there. The relationship has been over for many years, and I’ve not experienced a cheating man since. Mainly because they don’t stay around long enough to cheat. And I’ve not been bothered about it all that much. If you’re going to cheat, you’re going to cheat. I can’t stop that from happening, and I can certainly not change it. What I can change though is my behaviour towards it which would be to make sure that I don’t really care all that much. Not right, I know, but it’s worked for me.

Anyhow. Back to the post. One of my regular readers, both here and on FB commented on the post. That if your needs are not being satisfied in the current relationship, the search for love continues. Which is fine. Let it continue. The search I mean. It would be preferable though, to let go of the one not meeting your needs while you look for the one that does.

I’m the last person that will insist two people stay together because it’s less hassle than forging ahead with something new, or on their own. I’m the first person to advise a split if the complaining is more than  the joys.

And there-in lies the problem. People cheat. Granted, more men than women, but both sexes cheat. Why? End the relationship. Go find somebody new. OR just never have relationships, just have loose little dalliances.

But no. We want our cake and we want to eat it too. We want the comfortable back door of an existing relationship, buffering us against the storms most single people have to ford. We want the excitement of a first kiss, a first glance, a first touch, but when the firsts are all over, we want to be safe in the knowledge that we won’t have to face dark empty days ahead. We want the comforts of home. Where things are maybe not as exciting, but they are known.

If you look to the post again, and you dig deeper, you come across a massive can of worms. In some cases, you can change enough to meet the person’s needs, without losing yourself in the process. In some cases, should the partners actually have some emotions invested in the relationship, they may talk about it, find a golden midway option, make a compromise, go for counselling. If emotions are invested. In most other cases though, you change. You lose yourself. You become a different person. And you can still not meet their needs. Yet they never leave. They go for the their dalliances, keeping you on hold, and when they tire of the excitement, they come back home. And they will do this again and again, until you stop it. They never will. You have to stop the cycle and make yourself realise that it’s never going to be different.

As I said. I’ve been there. I was the one to stop the circle. I was the one that said no more. But not many other people are able to make that decision. By the time you get close to it, you’re so completely floored that you can’t see a way out. You can’t see a different life than the one you have. You can’t see yourself anymore. And it’s a long hard struggle to get that back again.

To end with. If you’re unhappy enough with  your current partner to start looking around – do both of you a favour and can the one before you start the other one. You’re only perpetuating heartache and sadness and one day, one day it will be repaid. In spades. And you won’t like it all that much.

If you can’t or won’t can it, just don’t screw around! You can sort out anything if you really want to. It boils down to three choices. You accept it, you change it or you move on. Pick one and stick to it.

As for myself, currently, I’m trying to get through a very long Friday afternoon hoping I’ll stay awake. I’m alone in the office – everybody else is busy with training, it’s oppressively hot, very quiet. And I’m wondering if I want to do the NANoWriMo again – starting tomorrow…

I’ll see how I feel about it when I open my eyes tomorrow. In the meantime, long days and pleasant nights…

40 Cat Quotes That Are Brutally True

I thought these were well worth sending out to my part of the blogging world 😉

Diary of Dennis

40 Cat Quotes That Are Brutally True

Today I did spend some time to search for cat quotes. I found hundreds of them but wrote down my favorite ones. What I like about quotes is that they are often so true. I wanted to create a list of the best cat quotes as I never done something similar on my blog. This is not only a list of funny cat quotes, they are additionally also brutally true quotes and some of them really made me laugh. Hope you will enjoy the list, hope it will make you smile too…

1. Time spent with cats is never wasted. Sigmund Freud

2. As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. Ellen Perry Berkeley

3. Any household with at least one feline member has no need for an alarm clock. Louise A. Belcher

4. Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. Garrison…

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Who really needs the SAPO?

Who indeed?

SAPO stand for the South African post Office.

A company that employs more than 23000 people. People who have been striking for 11 weeks so far, wanting whatever they always want. At least the strike has not been as violent as most of the strikes in the suck heap seems to be.

And then we have this person asking if we still need a government post Office. Granted, he makes a lot of good suggestions. And this has always made me wonder. 20 years ago, when the ANC took over the country. They had a working infrastructure on all levels and then some. They then proceeded to get rid of almost all the white Afrikaans males over a certain age – the ones that were in charge of up-keeping said infrastructure. Now, 20 years later, none of the services still work. Unless you go to the private sector, and the private sector is mostly run by those same white Afrikaans males you let go of all those years ago. they did not just park off, they carried on doing what they do, and they run the private sector now. With their hands tied mostly, what with employment equity and broad based black economic empowerment and BEE certification and being forced to give shares to the workers, Still. The private sector works. And it looks as if more and more government functions are going to be turned over to the private sector.

Just perpetuating the whole silly business of calling whites the oppressors but enjoying the spoils of said imagined oppression.

Anyhow. Read the article. The guy does make sense on some levels. This is not what my post is about though. This post is about the Post Office. And what it means to me.

Way back when, just after the second World War, my father was born. 1929 to be exact. There was little money to be had, and, as was the wont in the old days, the family was big. Schooling was just the bare minimum. At age 14, 1943, my father started working at the Post Office as a telegram delivery boy. Did not finish school, did not get past grade five or six, but he was working, earning, making a contribution to his own life and the lives of his family members. He helped look after his ailing mother, his sisters and brothers. When he was 40, he met my mom. They got married against everything their families thought and they started a family. Of course, he was a confirmed bachelor when they got married and I think that never really went away.

My father spent his whole life working for the Post Office. He went from telegram delivery boy to a Grade four Post Master. A man in charge of some of the bigger branches of the service. He ran it with compassion and diligence. I remember when he had to cash up at night. They had these huge books they used to write everything in. He was able to tally all the columns in one go – no calculator, no computer, just his mind. I have old wire baskets from the Post office. Pen and ink holders dating from a time before ballpoint pens. Stamps. I even have a few old telegram papers.

The Post Office, to me, is more than just a government parastatal. It is the place that has nurtured my father from a green boy, to a fully functioning man, husband and father. It has ever been a place where people could find work when they could not find it anywhere else. I remember blind people working in the sorting department. Disabled people working on the telephone lines. I, myself, worked there one school holiday, sorting post. It was a popular holiday job for youngsters. I even have a photo of myself that appeared in the newspaper! Still have the sweater I wore in the picture – yeah. I don’t let go of the past all that easily…

The big Post Office in Jeppe street, Johannesburg.

A place where hopes and dreams and fears and tears were sent from one corner of the country to the other. A place where condolences and glad tidings and bad news were sent with telegrams. A place where you could save money, buy stamps, be a part of the community. A place with it’s own peculiar smell – old paper, ink, dust, wood. The old post Office buildings were all dark cave like places. Lots of wood and copper. You must remember. In the old days, if a things was worth doing, it was worth doing well.

And that, that is what is being lost with them running this, once proud organisation, into the ground as they did with everything else.

One can’t hold on to the past. That would be futile. But should we not at least try and keep something of that alive? Should we really just throw out everything that’s not new and shiny and forget it ever existed?

A Post Office of some kind or other exists in the entire world as we know it. And only in countries that have gone beyond redemption, does the post office fail.

What does this bode for the suck heap? We don’t have a Patrician that will ensure that the post office gets up and running again. We don’t Have a Mr von Leipzig that can compete with the clacks companies to get the Post Office running again.

I can’t do anything to change what’s happening. Truth be told, very few people do send hand written anything by post. All you get from the PO is bills and magazines. But really. The infrastructure is there. The man power is there. Why not privatise it, let it be run like a business – but don’t just let it crumble into nothing.

My two cents’ worth.

Long days and pleasant nights…

Realisiation

This morning. I had somewhat of an epiphany…

On recommendation from Huntmode, I am currently reading Anne Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. It’s not an easy read for me. Not because I don’t agree with the subject matter but because I agree with it too much and the fact that so many other people don’t see it is not something I am happy about.

Back to the mentioned epiphany. Almost.

My country is one of many different peoples. Cultures. Languages. Viewpoints. Colours. Yes. Colour has to be mentioned because that’s what many of the wrongs are based on. Over the weekend, things happened. Which gave this, in my view, cretin, something to write home about. Follow the link to the story in question.

Admittedly, I did not read it in it’s entirety. I don’t like reading what this man writes. Since, in my view, always remember that, MY VIEW, he is part of the problem in this stupid suck heap of a country. You have white people doing things to black people. You have black people doing things to white people. You have black people doing things about whities and vice versa. But everybody is so touchy about their entitled human rights that the smallest wave becomes a storm in a teacup, spilling over into massive incidents, And the really serious stuff are swept under the carpet.

What I’m saying here is completely over simplified. The issues here are bigger than just a few incidents. Racism between colours are, while not right, at least culturally explainable. Racism between people of the same colour, Xenophobia, is somewhat less excusable, So. while I’m not too fussed about racism coming o my side from a black person’s point of view, I have a huge issue when I perceive that a person from my own background does that.

And there-in lies my epiphany.

Take the liberal person that wrote the article. The liberal people that so want to help the rest of the world out of the holes they dug for themselves. You take the liberal people that can’t see past their noses what trouble they are causing. The liberal people being written about in the book.

And you will see that each and every one of their agendas have little to do with actually helping, being selfless and sacrificing, and everything to do with keeping themselves at the upper hand of whichever society they’re “helping”

And my epiphany was the fact that I should absolutely stop getting upset about it. I can do not a single thing about it. I can get all upset about the cretin. I can rant and rave about the idiots running the country, about the blind world that seems to want said idiots to run the country, and I can only really sit back, watch them and laugh at them. Sure, they will get me in the end. That’s what needs to happen to thinking individuals. But until they do, I will have a few chuckles at all these so important people.

Since I know very well that, when all is said and done, the earth revolves around the sun – not you. You will die, same as me, same as everybody else. And, when you’re dead – you will have to do your explaining to somebody other than the people you have harmed while on earth.

And every single thing on this planet that was so all important to you will mean nothing.

Nostalgia

Just there to make us depressed?

As you know, I’m not a great lover of modern kids. Or, for the most part, of kids. In all probability, I was not a good mother because I never mollycoddled my kids. I suppose they blame me for not making sure they have well prepared and well thought out packed lunches, or home cooked meals, starched linen and towels that reminded them of home…

That being said.

This is not a lament of what a bad mother I may or may not have been.

This is about the things I remember growing up with that most kids of today don’t even have an inkling of. And, as great as technology may be, it has hampered kids of today in many instances.

Theo and myself were talking about getting old – I was invited to a fiftieth birthday party and that made me realise that I have 4 birthdays left including this year, before I, too, turn the half-century!

His sage answer to this remark was “Nah. We’re not getting old, we’re just getting more experienced and wiser” Sure. And old 😉

But he reminded me of all the things we did as kids growing up. The long distances we would cover either on our bicycles or on foot. The food we ate – invariably home-cooked – we did not do the fast food thing as often then as we do now.

We’d spend more time outside than inside. Garage parties. Two week long camps with the school, learning all manner of things, remembering not much but the experience. I can still remember waking up at night, in my sleeping bag, shivering with cold. Did I die? Not quite. The whole experience was better than one night of sleeping cold.

Listening to Casey Kasim on 702 every Sunday. Taping Human League and Adam Ant and Olivia Newton John – getting all uptight when the family would talk while I was taping!!

Holidays spent on the farm, we would sit with the Grand mom, listening to Radio drama’s. Helping my uncle milk the cows. Playing in the abandoned pig sties. Hey – they were empty at the time and made a perfect spot to play house-house in!!

When I was cleaning out my boxes last week, I came across a whole bunch of letters written to me by various people over the years. Something so much more satisfying in unfolding a letter, smelling the old paper, seeing the hand writing, than  in opening an e mail, don’t you think? Reading the words, in that person’s hand, knowing they took the time and effort to pen this, just for you. I have a card given me by my dude, the Yank. It’s in my Bible, and I take it out ever so often, and reminisce. It gives me better memories than any of the e mails he ever sent me. And that is the power of the written word.

It literally transports you to a time and place when you were younger. Less damaged. More optimistic. A different time. A different place.

We remember typewriters. Bicycles that had brakes you had to step on instead of pull with your hands. Drive-in theatres and road houses.

When a Saturday afternoon was not spent in front of the TV watching some mindless sport, but spent in Johannesburg – at the JHB library, inhaling the reverence of the library. Watching the water pour over the little gazelles in Joubert park. Alas. Those things are no more. The gazelles have been demolished by vandals, the copper sold for whatever they could get for it. The library – it might still exist, but not as I once knew it.

And on that note, I’m readying the topic for my next blog. The New South Africa.

My little trip down memory lane was not as broad as it could have been – doing the blog at work does have it’s draw backs, but i hope you can see some of the things I saw while i was thinking of the many things we used to do and experience when we were young. And if it’s a bit disjointed, bear with me. It’s been a while since I typed up anything longer than a 3 line e mail!!!

Until next we meet, long days and pleasant nights…

How long has it been?

Decades? Centuries?

That’s what it feels like in any case. Much has changed, and just as much has stayed the same. I’m still on my own – that should go without saying. I got myself a brand spanking new car, brand new laptop, brand new phone. Had my first sanctioned leave since visiting my dude in Istanbul in 2010, and came back to the job like so many other, normal people out there.

The car, a little one, serves me well. The old car served me with the laptop and a nice LCD screen TV with a little media player and another hard drive – not such a bad deal. Of course, the youngest helped me spend some of the cash 😉

The laptop, unfortunately not the Apple I’ve been longing for, came with Windows 8. Not that bad a program, but something’s eating my data. And, data being the premium that it is here in the Suck heap, I’ve been avoiding using it.

Bringing me to my next new thing – my absolutely gorgeous iPhone 5. I’ve got both my mail clients on it. My FB. My WP – everything just works, so I’ve been using it more than  I’ve been using the laptop. That is, of course, until I managed to make recovery disks and change the Windows 8 for Linux. Might take a bit getting used to, but i think it will make for a much stabler machine.

Personals, well, I’m still working at the same place. Not without ups and downs, but it’s been more than a year and slowly but surely, I’m becoming part of the team instead of the new one. Suppose it will take some more time, but so far, so good.

Kids are still fine. The youngest will be coming back home after a 2 month sojourn in the States – he worked at the Texas Fair or some such. Sent me pictures of Mustangs and all things American 😉  And hopefully he’ll bring me back my pop tarts and Starbucks coffee and Moonlight Path shower gel and and and – unfortunately he can’t bring me a corn do, and I did not even think to ask him to bring me some, is it Poppycock or some such? That lovely popcorn mixed with cashews and caramel – quite divine!

The eldest is still in Dubai – was supposed to go visit him now while I had leave, but life happened. Not the worst decision ever, because I used that time to sort out my study – becoming more of a study than a storage room!! About time too! I’ve let my life slide for too long – and since you can’t control everything, I can only control the things closes to me and that means ordering the chaos.

The relationship front – I’m still in a relationship with myself. Think I must cultivate that rather than to bother with the men I do manage to find. If you can believe all the positive thinking things you read, the fault might be entirely mine – either because I don’t love myself enough or not in the right way or not at all – pick one! I like to think that I love myself just fine – it’s when I try and involve other people in that very personal circle that things go wrong. Leading me to believe that I really am better off on my own. Heaven knows I’m not the only one!

This just as an update on life as I currently know it. I have so many topics that I would like to venture in, not to mention I might feel brave enough to attempt the NaNoWriMo again in a few days’ time…

Until the next time I’m on here – be as good as you are able.

Long days and pleasant nights…

New

So.
Today l got my brand spanking bew iPhone 5s.
Could not wait for the iPhone 6 to be released – nobody seems to know when that will be…
Let me extoll, once again, the virtues of having an Apple device.
I imported my sim contacts to my old device. I activated the new device.
When l came home, l backed up my old device and restored the new one using the old one’s settings.
Not a tear shed, not one frowning, wondering, perplexed look crossed my face in the process.
Everything, just as it was, with an updated look and a very comfortable usage method.
Just the same. Just better 😃
I really am in love with Apple.
Sure it’s only an operating system on an inanimate device, but the joy it has brought to my life is untold.
As l commented on one of my friends’ comment on FB : everything does seem to be flowing in one direction instead of in all directions at once. Hope and faith and lots of prayers does bring you to where you need to be in the end.
I hope you are all still well out there. None of you are ever far from my thoughts…
May you always find water and shade.

Long ago…

…I had a rhythm.

Certain things would be done at certain times. I would spend hours reading things, thinking about things to write, thinking up comments to the things I read. I would not feel bad about the things I write, or about the time I spent reading what others have written. I spent hardly any time on FB.

These days, however, I find myself hiding. From the world at large. Just crawled into my warm, safe shell, without giving of myself to anybody that I might come across.

When I have a moment to myself, I think about things that’s past. Words that were spoken in truth that turned out to be lies. Memories made, all built on sand. Dreams dreamt, turning into ashes in a matter of minutes.

What it really boils down to though is that I’ve given away my peace of mind. Knowingly handed it into somebody else’s keeping, Somebody not up to the task. My own stupidity, I know. One should never hand over one’s peace of mind to any other human being. Even knowing this, I still did it.

Now, now I have to make the enormous effort of once again finding the kernel of peace still left within me. The little kernel that I will need to grow so I don’t have to lie awake at night, thinking about things I have no control over.

I am ever hopeful though. Things are not nearly as bad as they could have been. I live in abundance for the most part. I have use of all my faculties, all my bodily functions are still running smoothly. My little new car is the bee’s knees – still has the new car smell and even though it’s a huge expense, I feel that it was not a bad move at that.

What I keep coming back to though, the thing that overshadows everything good in my life, is that I was gullible enough to listen to lies. I was sufficiently desperate to hear the words and chose to negate what I knew was true – if somebody seems too good to be true, they invariably are. I so wanted to have a forever with somebody that I went against my own instincts and believed the crap I heard. I built my dreams, not on rock, but on the sand of a tidal beach. Soon to be washed away to nothing under the force of the waves of reality.

I live in that reality now. I live with the echoes of those words in my ears. The memories still hurt. Time might stop that from happening, maybe. The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind – would that I could come across a machine that will make my mind spotless. That will let the sun shine over the dark thoughts hiding in there. That will remove all traces from my thoughts of the one person that, like a snake in the grass, saw my weak spots, knew them, learned them and hit me where it will hurt the most. In my belief of my own worth. That broke my trust in even seemingly good human beings. That will cause me to think long and hard before I let another person into my fortress again.

It’s a vicious circle I’m afraid. You don’t want to be alone all the time, so you reach out to people, every time putting yourself out there. The more you give, the more you can get hurt. And that, I suppose, is life, not so? If you close yourself off from pain, you also close yourself off from joy. And I quite like my little joys. I will not live without them.

It will take me a while to find my equilibrium again. For me to feel that I’m not quite as useless as I was brought to believe. That I, as a person, am actually worth at least some effort. I will get there. With time, quite a bit of effort and maybe some chemicals – but eventually my mind, if not spotless, will at least be free from the constant badgering.

Until then, bear with me. I will get my rhythm back – it will just take time.

Long days and pleasant nights…