Today

Today has been a day of memories. 

Forgotten things remembered, bittersweet memories, tastes, smells, pictures, long since looked at, dusted off. 

A day of remembering a time in my life that taught me how to love deeply, regret utterly, enjoy completely was brought on by a memory share on silly FB. Just a picture of me in lraq in front of a military humvee. I was a few weeks away from my 40th b day. 

In a strange place, meeting strange people, experiencing strange things. It was before l met my dude. Before life changed completely. Before l got sad and reflective and old 😒

And tonight, l’m sitting at a random coffee shop in the suckheap’s main town, listening to a young man and his brother making half decent music, drinking a chai latte. 

Something that me and my dude used to imbibe more often than not. 

Memory lane. Not a trip to take lightly. But a trip worth taking nevertheless. It’s in our memories that our forgotten loves live. Where we can dust off and look at everything that’s happened to bring us where we are. 

In our memories that we can feel special. Loved. Accepted. Not old and decrepid and worthless. 

I don’t often do the memory thing. They often hurt more than they should. But tonight seems to be the perfect time to reflect on times gone by. 

I still miss my dude. Some days more than others, but he’s always in the back of my mind in some or other guise. A memory. A remembrance. A lesson. And a hole in my heart that will likely never again be filled…

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