…a dead cert.
A phrase I’ve come across in a Dick Francis book once. Worked for me then, and works for me now.
Remember last year and the beginning of this one? When I had all the hassles with the HG that drank everything alcohol related in my entire house? The one that wanted me to sort out his problems? Well, what I did to him, was done to me just this past week. I should have known that karma won’t stand still for that kind of behaviour to one of life’s less able people.
Anyhow. I’m living each day as it happens, doing what needs to be done, berating myself for still shedding a tear every so often, or getting all contemplative – this too shall pass, I have no doubts at all.
What has brought me to thinking that, as well as fast acting, karma is also vindictive. Very much so.
There I was on FB, minding my own business, talking about the project I started last night with a buddy I used to work with many moons ago, and up pops this name. I recognised the first name, not the surname though. This person sends me a friend request. Naturally i went to look at who this is, since I don’t know the person as far as I know.
Lo and behold. What do I see there you might ask?
A woman I used to know. Also worked with me. She also sued me for pain and suffering when she looked after my house for a weekend and my not completed gate fell on her leg, severing her achilles tendon. She was at my house before, she was warned that the gate was not completed yet, but she had these teenage sons and they were the ones that did not use their brains. Since that day, I think I might have spoken maybe 10 words to her until she left the hospital I worked at then. It was many years ago – at least 10. The money she got from my insurance has long since been spent, but I’ve never regarded her as a friend of any kind. Not even one of those that you just have on FB because you’re too lazy to unfriend them, or you could not really be bothered about what goes on with them, or they you.
What makes karma so vindictive is the fact that this woman got married again. Dunno how long ago or how happily, but yes. She’s not somebody I want to count as friend, then or now, and SHE managed to snag some sucker! FFS! If she can, why can’t I do the same? Then again, I’m possibly too full of shit and I don’t tolerate bull all that well and that never works on the male ego. So karma thought, just to show me, just how low I really am on the totem of life. Just rubbing the wounds with chilli salt. Rubbing it right in there – Never do to others what you don’t want done to yourself. Alas. I seem to be the only one paying for my mistakes. Other people seems to cruise through life, quite unconcerned and it works out for them!!
To get back to the friend request – it’s so much more than just somebody from your past. she was also divorced back then. She also went through money problems, same as me. She also had to raise her kids on her own, same as me. And now she will see that i am Ex-effing zactly where I was when I last saw her. Still living in the same house, still on my own – nothing has changed. Except me.
The conundrum is now – do I accept the request? I doubt that we will have any kind of conversation ever, but she’s never been good to me in any way, shape or form. I don’t even know why she bothered with it. Or is she so filled with neighbourly love that she thought that bygones should be bygones? makes no sense to me whatsoever. Suppose I’ll accept it. Would be petty not to. Chances are she will ask me how I am and what I’m doing now and shit like that – hopefully only the once!
Then maybe, life can continue as it should.
Back to the project. The buddy I was conversing with about it wants weekly updates on FB. So I’ll do the same here. On a Monday I’ll post a picture of the progress over the week. Tonight saw me finish the preparation. Chose the colours. Now I just have to figure out how to use it in a way that works. it’s my own design you see, and I’ve never shaded anything like that. Only ever worked off a pattern. This will truly be a creation – hopefully an attractive one!
And now, for tonight’s song. I’m not generally a Celine Dion fan, but this song grabbed me many years ago, and I thought it fitting in my current life status – even if only as a pick me up. I would put it on repeat all those years ago. I have not quite moved on just yet, but that will come – it has to.
Hope you enjoy it with me and may your days be long upon the earth.
This is a bit closer to the way things are standing now – only for now though. Time heals. It changes you. It will be all right.