Because…

…I’m sad.

So I thought a few jokes might cheer you up and hopefully me – eventually.

 

PUNOGRAPHY

· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

· I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words …

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

· I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds..

· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro – what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

 

And the one song that makes it all smooth. At least for a while. This has been  my go to song for so many years. My standard so to speak. I have placed it before and I will again – hope you enjoy the smoothness with me. Life always goes on, does it not? Best we find the little joys – they are always there. We just need to look for them sometimes.

May your days be long upon the earth…

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15 comments on “Because…

  1. Hello you thought i would join you for a laugh
    And hopefully make you smile
    Have a beautiful day

    Hello you thought i would join you for a laugh
    And hopefully make you smile
    Have a beautiful day

    ║║╔═╦╦╦═╗*. . *
    ║╚╣║║║║╩╣* Daniel x
    ╚═╩═╩═╩═╝.*.**´¨`*•

    Three bent coppers wives had been in a bad car crash and all were deceased
    they arrived at the Gates of Heaven and were greeted by the angel from Cape
    they asked what it was like, and what they had to do.
    The Angel told them that there was only one rule “Do not step on the Ducks”
    A little confused they quizzed him some more.
    The Angel went on “Heaven is a lovely place, but we have millions of ducks up here and the Boss loves ducks. You can do what you like, sing or dance whatever but you will be punished if you step on a duck.
    Well, the Girls passed through the Gates of Heaven. Before you could say quack! The first Lady stepped on a duck. With a flash and a puff of smoke the angel from Cape arrived. He had with him the ugliest bloke you could ever imagine, peter his name scruffy, smelly and drooling. The Angel proceeded to chain this guy to the women as punishment for stepping on the duck. “Blimey” she said. “How long does this last?
    “Forever” said the angel from cape.
    The remaining Girls made a pact to be more careful. But finally the second Lady also stepped on a duck. Then yes you guessed it the angel of cape arrives and she gets chained to another Ugly bloke. John
    Well the last of the three was determined not to get caught out, even going near a duck so for 9 months she shuffled round Heaven, so as to keep out of trouble.
    Then puff, flash, the angel from cape arrives. He chains this woman to the most handsome young hunk ever.
    After the Angel had gone. The young man turned to the last of the three Women and said, “What’s happened here then”?
    She replied, “I have no idea I was just shuffling around minding my own business. What about you”
    “Like you” said the young man, “I have no idea, I only arrived a few minutes ago I walked through the Gates stepped on a duck and here I am “.

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