…the penultimate edition of the HG saga.
The last straw finally broke the camel’s back this morning. Such an utter disregard of my privacy, a thumbing of nose at what I have done for this person. Not because I was ever expecting anything. I knew he was a hopeless case before I took him in, but I had to do something for a fellow human being. A fellow white human being. Because help in the suck heap does not exist for white people. If we don’t help each other, nobody else will.
There I was, at 5:45 am. The ass crack of dawn – never my best time of the day. Making coffee, after I scratched in my study cupboard for my precious coffee that’s still being hidden away. The sun has just started peeking it’s head over the horizon, birds have been doing their demented twittering since heaven alone knows when. I’m in the kitchen, and I noticed a bottle of muscadel that I left on the cabinet and that’s been standing there for at least a year. It was empty. I thought to see what the bottle of brandy I had in the kitchen looked like. Also empty. I don’t drink. And if I do, I throw away the bottles. Then I thought to go and look in my drinks cabinet – where I kept a bottle of 10 year old brandy. All my sherries and ports and dessert wine – since those are the only things I can stomach. Even had a bottle of Jagermeister in there. All empty. I unpacked 8 bottles that were all left.And left empty. Not the 10 year old brandy though. I then went to my box of Pinout de Laborie – a wine that I really enjoy, and use very sparingly. Empty. One empty bottle left in the entire box. Everything else finished. At least 1500 rand’s worth of alcohol. That I can’t easily replace. Gone. Down the gullet of the person I thought to help.
What did he do? He looked at me, saw me coming – “Ah, another sucker” And he proceeded to suck. And suck and suck.
He was still wiping the crap from his eyes when I burst into his bedroom and told him to get the hell here. Only for him to be confronted with the empty bottles standing there in a row.
Many things were said. I asked him how he thinks his actions will influence me next time I can help somebody. Asked him why he had to do this after everything else I helped him with? Sure. It’s only alcohol – replaceable. What is not replaceable is the trust I had in him.
“I’m sorry. I have a problem.” All he had to say. Can’t look me in the eye.
Yes guy. You do indeed have a problem. And you need to start facing up to the fact that your life is a complete shambles because you don’t face yourself. I also told him that people like him will ALWAYS find somebody prepared to take up the slack. Somebody prepared to help. Another fucking sucker to be sucked dry and used and fucked over. Do pardon my language. It fits my feelings perfectly though. also told him that he needs psychological evaluation – see just how much of a psychopath he really is. I was not kind this morning. Not at all.
And he has the brazenness to ask me of the February 28 deadline is still in effect. Uhm, actually no. If I can get you out of here TONIGHT I would be a very happy person. After what you did, I don’t want you here any longer. This is beyond coffee. It is straight into my being. Not because you drank some booze, even though the booze were special to me. It was the fact that you just took. You just used everything I had. You never bothered to ask. You left the fucking empty bottles so I won’t notice anything was amiss. You effing ass!!!
So he’s trying to make amends. “I bought bones for the dogs.” Raw bones. That has to be cooked before you give it to the dogs. I never cook bones for my dogs. But you’re too useless to know that are you not? “Ok, I will cook them today. And I will clean the dishes I used over the weekend.”
Suffice to say – the bones are just where they were this morning. In the fridge, uncooked. The dishes have not been washed. The newspapers that he let blow all over the place is still outside, being blown around some more. His bedroom door was closed when I got here tonight. I did not even bother to greet.
After all this, the best thing, he’s leaving on Friday. He’s not welcome here anymore. He will never be welcome in my life ever again. After everything I was prepared to do, after everything I did do – this is how you repay me? No more dude. NO MORE! Time for you to go and find another sucker. This one has closed the tap.
So, on Friday night, me and C will have lots to celebrate. Our togetherness and the fact that my life will be free of parasites again!! Have to say, if not for C, I might have let this carry on for longer than it has. As it is, he gave me the incentive to sort things out, to be assertive, to not take it. And the knowledge that, had I needed him there, he would have been there. that made the whole ordeal bearable. Thank you C. From the bottom of my not inconsiderable heart, chestpains and all 🙂
Yeah, about that. Had this pain in my chest since this afternoon. Could be angina of some kind – since I have the ear of a trained medical professional. It could be something else. I just don’t know. Kind of strange really – had it before, but never for this long – maybe a long, hot bath will soothe the ache.
So, to recap – I was suckered into helping a person. Said person thought it best to fuck me over. He got shown the door. I will not be fucked over ever again in my life. That line has been drawn clearly. The next person I help will be a completely random stranger, never to be seen or heard from ever again.
And this will hopefully be the end of that particular story. Now I can concentrate on things that really matter. C and myself. My job. The kids are sorting themselves out. My sister is sorting herself out. The only thing I have to worry about is how we’re going to get our logistics to become easier – an almost insurmountable problem in itself, but where there’s a will, there’s invariably a way. And what needs to happen, will. Never lose sight of that.
Let me soothe my bruised soul with a spot of music, and the hopes that, even though he has screwed me over big time, the HG will maybe, one day, be able to face himself in the mirror and be a decent person instead of a user.
And that you, through my experiences, never have to deal with something like this.
Long days and pleasant nights…
And, a special request 🙂