…I wonder

What should I write about? I can do the politics – things are deteriorating here in the RS of A. One of these days the national debt will be 1.7 trillion rand. That’s a crapload of money. With only 3.3 million people working and paying taxes, out of the 50 million currently residing here, with 16 million on welfare. Yeah. I can see this ending well.

Spoke to C. I reckon we should move to the States. His sister is already there in Canada, should not be too hard to get us both in there too. I just don’t know if I can leave all the things that are dear to me behind. Then again, the great unwashed may still relieve me of my treasures. It’s what they do. Petrol goes up every month. Salaries don’t. The weak rand causes importers to up their prices, screwing up the job market. Yes. it’s not a pretty picture. unfortunately it’s the only picture we’re ever likely to get seeing as this is, after all, Africa – land of beauty and mighty fuck ups.

Work was good again today. It always is. Traffic was good – it always is. They’ve even fixed the traffic lights that’s been broken since before Christmas. Such service!!

And last night me and the kid went out for a mom and son supper. I told him about C, and he was OK with it. tells me I should look after his grandmother – of course my boy, why on earth would I not? of course, he;s got big plans. I just hope they pan out as he hopes. He needs to spread his wings and he’s not going to be able to do it here in the suck heap.

That’s been my week so far.

tomorrow night is date night. C and myself are going to a nice restaurant. So. Tonight I have to pack – clothes make up shoes perfume. I have to do my nails. Make sure the dress I want to wear fits. Pack the underwear. I’m coming home after work, but our reservation is for 19 30, which gives me only 30 minutes grace – takes me an hour to get to the back of beyond where he lives! It’s worth every mile I travel though because my baby is at the end of the journey.

We have literally spent each day and most of the evening talking. About the house we will build should one of us come into a load of money. With a big workshop. A huge kitchen. Jacuzzi, fire pit, library. It’s been a long time since I dreamed like that. I’ve always wondered how it would be to share a life with somebody other than my kids. Never really had that sharing with my ex. Nor with any other man – have just not cared for anybody enough to want to fully integrate lives. Did not really want to wake up with that particular man every morning, nor go to bed with him every evening. Did just not want to share my personal space with just anybody. But now, now that I’ve met the person that I welcome completely in my personal space, I can see myself setting up house with him. Each will have a personal room – to do in what they liked, but essentially we will be together. Listening to each other’s tunes of an evening, preparing food together, talking about the day gone past.

In that context – sharing personal space with somebody is difficult when you’ve been on your own for so long. But because you’ve been alone and appreciate the value of Β personal space and solitude, you are way more cognizant of the other’s need for that. Just because we’re together now does not mean that we don’t still want solitude on occasion. And that’s the difference with love the second time around. You understand one another’s needs because you both need the same things. You don’t have the feverish need to procreate or keep up with the other people your age. You are together, not because society dictates it, but because that’s the only place you really want to be. And if that means giving one another space to be, then you do it.

I can quite imagine myself coming home every evening, maybe even cook a meal, light candles and park off chatting. Because I know it will not be expected. C once said I’m a goddess, not a domestic goddess πŸ˜‰ He’s very diplomatic, is my guy – he has to be if he wants to be with a chick with a fiery temper like mine! that’s not to say that he never gets angry. I think he can throw his toys out the cot with the best of us! I’ll just be sure to have a whole arsenal of hugs and kisses to avert such a disaster – unless I was the cause. Then I will just let him get it out of his system, apologise and make use of the arsenal.

Suffice to say, life is still viewed from the top of cloud nine – and I never want to come down. It’s too wonderful to have somebody out there whose first thought in the morning is of me and whose last thought in the evening is of me. I never really thought that would happen. and now it has I will be filling my relationship box with lots of love and compassion and companionship – may it never run dry…

Long days and pleasant nights…

9 comments on “Hmmm…

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