Dealing with it now.
As aftermaths go, was not too bad. At least the irrigation worked and I was able to sleep for more than two hours at a time. Relations are slightly strained, but not unbearably so. Time will tell how this is going to work out – I’m not forcing any issues anymore. I seem to have forgotten my newfound life philosophy – What needs to happen, will.
Me and C were friends before. We were friends during. We will be friends even though we can’t do anything to change that. Probably a good thing for him to see how fickle I can really be – weather I like it or not, I seem to be ruled by my hormones. As an aside – how do you make a hormone? You don’t pay her…
Just a spot of levity to lighten these last few, very dismal, posts of mine!
Time will pass, as it does, and will bring it’s own solutions to our problems. In the bigger scheme of things I don’t suppose it really matters if one more person is happy or unhappy – the Earth will continue it’s circuit around the sun and it’s own axle, birds will still start their demented chattering at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am, rain will still fall, sunsets will still be spectacular visions of colour.
And me? I will continue on this road I’ve been given. I will go back to work next week, and I will do my utmost to show them that I will be better there than the daughter. I just got the house guest some data time so he can tweak his CV and get it out there – as it is, finances this month will be strained. But we’ll make it one way or the other.
I hope you like my music choices tonight. The first song, I find kind of calming. It washes through your brain, loosening all the goop that got stuck there, washing it clean. Sort of getting your ducks back in a row. Not every body’s cup of tea, I know, but sometimes it’s all I’ll listen to, the only thing that fits the mood and space and time and moment. Strangely enough, I think my playlist is tuned to my moods. It’s been playing more trance tunes than any other. Now that would be a cool invention. A machine that picks up your moods and plays music accordingly! But, I have added something a bit more usual for those of you not so into the sounds of trance. Hope it works for all of you.
I am now going to reply to last night’s comments. I have to say thank you for the support I got. I still feel bad about what happened, but I can’t change any of it. I just need to remember my motto, not force anything, taking every day as it comes, and let time do it’s thing. Find my inner peace again.
May your days be long upon the earth.