have to be that.

Come hell or high water, I can not allow negativity to creep in.

That being said, today has not been a positive day. Mom helped with buying what needs to be bought for Christmas lunch – such a crapload of money just for one meal, albeit a special one. Then we went to get nuts. And the shop we got the nuts from is closing down next week. Probably about 30 people will be jobless in the new year. The maul was not as busy as I’ve seen it. There were people, lots of them, but nowhere near the amounts I’ve seen previous years. Meaning people are feeling the pinch. And everything is just getting more and more expensive and the big corporations are all trying to keep the shareholders happy by charging more for their services. And the government is spending money as if it will never run dry.

Then I look on FB, and I see all the things people post. From the most liberal to the most right winged. And I cry for the mess my country has turned into. The mandelas are fighting about money – suppose that’s the norm when kids see their parents as nothing but wallets. Still, all that dirty laundry out in public? Not so cool. We have a thief for a president and a whole population that adulates him. And an actual communist party in alliance with the ruling party. Of course that bodes well for positive feelings to abound.

The pond pump stopped working yesterday. Today I cleaned the filter, still nothing. Took it out of the pond in preparation to take it to work in the morning, and dear Ben decides that it will make a nice chew toy. Now, the electricity cord has been ripped off almost inside the pump. Nice work Ben.

When I was in Iraq, I bought a bottle of Irish spring or some such shower gel. Because my dude used to use the soap. The showergel was bought to remind me of him. I use it VERY sparingly, if ever. The person I’ll be sharing my living space with for the forseeable future either has no shower gel of his own, or he neglected to bring his own. I’m a female, I shower with pink smelling things. What does he do? He scratches through my stuff in the shower and unearths the precious bottle right at the back of the shelf. I was not happy. This was after he used up the last of my manly smelling things. And did not bother to throw out the bottle, or attempting to remove the last bit like I would have done. He strikes me as a very spoilt human. Not something I’ll be able to get out of him – if a man’s still spoilt at forty, he’s likely to stay that way until he dies. Only problem in this is that I’m not prepared to pander to spoilt people. I must just find a way to tell him how I feel about my luxuries being used up by people other than me – without sounding like a total bitch. Not quite sure how I will do that because spoilt people takes everything to heart because the never learnt how to deal with their own shit. In one way I’m still enabling him this regard by giving him a place to stay, and not forcing him to face his future without a safety to fall back on.

It always astonishes me how people like this always manages to land on their feet. He’s not a bad person. Don’t get me wrong. He’s very gentle and caring and helpful, but he just never faces his life because there seems to always be somebody to take up the slack when he can’t. I’m buggered if I know how I ALWAYS find the broken winged people out in the world! Not as if I’m looking on screwed-r-us or anything. They just seem to find their way to me, and my stupid, soft heartedness always lands me in the shit. Because they move on and I’m left with the defecit their stay caused.

Yet another reason why it’s better for both my wallet and my psyche to stay away from actual people. They’re just not good for either.

At least I have Mr Aznavour to keep me company this afternoon. Tomorrow I’m hoping to get the pump fixed. Tonight will see me package the eldest’s DVD for shipping to Dubai, after I dropped the parcel in Sandton and picked up the current human project I chose to saddle myself with. Shit. I’ve painted placemats for the Christmas table and gotten a recipe for a most divine desert – ginger and cherries and chocolate – sounds deelish, not so?

Positive thinking. Positive thoughts. Positive actions. I’m going to have to do a lot of biting of tongues and removing of negative energy from my life. Hope yours is running on an even keel.

Until the next time we meet…

If you could not open the previous song, try this one…


Again, if you could not open the previous song, try this one…


19 comments on “positive.

    • Have to stay positive Miss P. Good way to do that is with music – glad you enjoyed the tunes 😉
      And thanks for the love and the prayers – I’m going to need copious amounts of both!

  1. Only extreme bluntness will ever get the message across to selfish people.
    The pump-and-pooch predicament is … a trifle annoying, what? As for politicians and the economy and malls feeling the squeeze … well, the positive thing is that it is all positively lousy!

    • Luckily the place I’m working at was able to help me with a second hand pump, and I fixed it – water tinkling merrily 😉
      As for the houseguest, suppose I’m getting used to him. He does seem grateful and if not for his chilled demeanour on Christmas day, I think things would have been a tad worse than they were!!
      And so, life carries on inexorably carrying us on the tides to heaven alone knows where…

  2. Sorry to hear of the messiness, J. I am joining with the others of Team Jayce68 to enclose you in prayers and best wishes that it all comes out all right. As you say, you are able to meet your eyes in the mirror and that is what counts in the end and throughout the daily journey.

  3. Oh, dear. Of all the things for him to use. Poor you, when you’re doing a fellow a good turn and he unwittingly does something like that. It’s not like he knew. More like some gremlin got hold of his hand and whispered in his ear, use this, as it will cause an upset.

    • This I realise Sarah.Which is why i did not carry on about it in person. Just removed the bottle and gave him a bottle for Christmas. He did not know, and I did not tell him, and that’s the end of it.

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