Sometimes…

…I surprise myself.

Last night, spent a whole two and a half hours chatting to a buddy. He used to blog on the old LD site. South African, living in France. Turns out for visa purposes, he’s back in SA for a while. Yesterday the people he left his dog at when he left for France, had to put the dog out. So the guy was slightly upset. Actually a bit more upset than the situation warranted because the dog has not in actual fact been his for the past at least five years, but he chose to wallow in misery, so I let him.

Then somebody that he knows popped in. This particular dude is reeling from the shock of his wife committing suicide two or three days ago. Seems he was on a drinking binge, and wanted my buddy to join. Which the buddy duly did. Half a bottle of vodka later and my buddy is back online with me. Where he proceeded to become drunker and drunker and making less sense than Alice in Wonderland.

Kept on insisting we get together today, catch up on the old days, talk about the new days, you know, the usual.

I kept on insisting that he contacts me today, while sober and in full faculty of his brain.

I know people, you see. And I know drunk people. And I realised that this particular bloke was just feeling lonely and sad, far away from his actual friends and family in another country and me, being the only person he still knows in the suck heap, made a good shoulder for the moment.

Alas. In the light of a sober day, things said in the dead of night becomes secretive. Not to be repeated, not to be acted on. Suffice to say I have not gotten my little expected message. The crisis is over see? I’m not needed anymore.

How well I sometimes know people and their motives. Scary sometimes to know before they do. Makes for a very lonely life actually – always questioning people’s motives because you know what’s going on in their heads. Heaven forbid you actually tell them that that’s the reason for the contact – Never!! I will never do that! I’m not that kind of person!

Sorry to say – we are all humans. Governed not so much by our technology, but by our base urges. I sometimes think the lizard brain rule everything. And that’s the part of our psyche that comes to the fore when we have a need that technology or food or drink can’t fill.

Me,  I get those urges. But because I know what it feels like to be the recipient of random people’s sadnesses and emotions, I refrain from bothering those in my circle that might be inclined to give an ear.

And, admittedly, that’s why I blog. When my lizard brain tells my conscious mind to get out there and find a human to share some personal space with, I turn to my faithful blog. It’s always there. Always patient. And when you, my readers, read what I wrote and comment, I know that stems from your own experience in that regard. But even if you don’t read and comment, I got the urge out of my system. I shared myself – albeit just to a screen and typeface. My urges are relieved and I can continue with life as I know it, without fouling the waters with unnecessary human contact – I’d say a win-win situation all round!!

And so Saturday turned out not quite as I planned. Maybe I can try again tomorrow – have to get to Builders for my DIY fix 😉

And another friend invited me for a braai, so I’ll hie myself off to their side of the world and have some fun.

Let me leave you with this tune…

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12 comments on “Sometimes…

    • It’s part of The Human Condition I suppose P.
      sometimes another human’s voice in your ear or an arm around your shoulders mean the world.
      Alas – that would mean actual human interaction and that, for me, is anathema for the most part!!

  1. The very reason I keep myself to myself. At my age I don’t need to wipe tears or noses or anyone taller than three or four feet tall.

    I haven’t hear Whitaker for years and never this song. Nice background as I write this.

  2. Drunk people are such a let down, if you once give anything they say any credence. Having been raised in a house where someone drank too much, I find myself getting very impatient with anybody wasting my time with their drunken meanderings and promises. It’s all bollocks.

    Now I feel better, having got that off my chest 😉

    Wishing you a wonderful weekend, Ghia, free from any more time-wasting males.

    • me and drunk people don’t mix very well. I don’t have your experience with it, but since I’ve become an adult, I’ve seen what alcohol does to people. And frankly, To try and have a conversation with a drunk person – I don’t even try!
      all in all, not a bad weekend thanks Sarah 😉

  3. J, must be the moon or something – you wrote how I was feeling just before reading, but from a different angle. Got a call today from somebody who used up every drop of patience I had and pushed beyond that. I am trying to get over being cranky – think I’ll have to do some housework to get the stress out and see some order out of chaos. Hope your Sunday goes splendid. Do we get to see your November effort ~ however far you got in your book?

    • What I wrote in November P is nowhere near ready for public consumption!!
      as for patience robbers – yes. I know the feeling. What I can’t understand is how housework will make you less cranky? It makes me way more cranky – much prefer a milkshake and some Norah Jones to get the cranks gone!

      • I get filled with restless energy when I’m cranky and cannot concentrate to read or write. The housework, saved for just such times, allows me to put on tunes, scrub something for all my energy and at the end, see something for my effort.

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