…the Almighty Dollar.

Or in the case of the Suck heap inhabitants, the almighty rand.

Always have to make more money. DSTV has to be paid. Bond has to be paid. Take aways have to be bought. Kids have to have the latest tablets, go to the best schools. Dad has to drive the latest in 4 x 4 technology. Mom has to have just the right car to cart the little rugrats around in…

This morning, travelling to work, I thought long thoughts. Made wide turns into heretofore uncharted territories. Thought about all the plans I’ve had in the past that turned into just so much dust.

Fact of the matter is, I’ve also been chasing money. Not so much to get rich or anything, just to keep the head more above water than under it. And it’s getting old, very fast. There’s never any time. Not to do the things you really enjoy. And if you have time, you don’t have money.

If I don’t get a decently paying job very soon, I’ll be right back where I started a year ago. And if I don’t jump the gun, I might end up with maybe no debt as such, be definitely no assets either. So the time to act is now. The only thing that held me here was a job, kids in school and my house.

Kids are done with school. Jobs are not happening. And the house, well, the house has been desecrated.

I can’t sell my house and buy another house in the city – can’t afford that. Can also not afford the rates and taxes in the city either. Only thing would be to move to the far reaches of the country. Where property is cheap enough for me to buy and to make the changes I will insist on – solar power, gas appliances, water catchment tanks, big garden for food. Maybe even big enough and far enough out of town for a cow and a bunch of chickens. And rabbits 😉 That somebody else will have to kill, but if I want to eat meat, that’s what I’ll be able to afford, otherwise, it’s vegetarianism for me.

Yes, I suppose there are things that I will need money for. But I do think that you can make a plan for just about everything. And that’s what I’ll do – make a plan before I buy.

And I’m not only doing this for myself. I don’t think the sister’s marriage is going to last another 20 odd years. So mom will need a place to stay. So will mom’s sister. And, since I know myself well enough to realise that me and two other women in the same house might not be the best idea ever, there needs to be enough space to accommodate them, each in her own spot. Yes, we will be far from amenities. Far from hospitals and doctors and emergencies do happen no matter what your age.

But the other side of that coin in this daily slog. Chased out of one cage, to be shut directly into another cage. Lock your gates, bolt the doors, otherwise the hordes will come in. Well, nothing stops the hordes from coming in. The only thing that will do that is to not have anything. Because what they can’t sell, they’ll break. And leave you to clean up the mess they made of your life. The fuckers stole my fucking dancing shoes!!! FFS!!!

I’ve been thinking of getting out of the city for a while now. If I don’t have a job, I won’t be able to continue dancing in any case. And I kind of see Monday night’s break in as a crossroads. Doors in the job market has been closed for me for a long time now. Most avenues end up in a dead end. I’m thinking the Universe is trying to tell me something.

And, in my mind, that something is, pack up and leave this place. I just don’t know if I’m right about the Universe’s thoughts. Don’t think anybody can ever be sure!

As it is, I’m looking at different places in the Suck heap since I will not have enough money to move all my crap to any of the other suck heaps in the rest of the world. Fact is, no matter where you go, there will invariably be people. People steal, lie, cheat, kill, maim. It’s just what they do.  By maybe, just maybe I can choose the position of my last stand…

Long days and pleasant nights.



20 comments on “Chasing…

  1. I would think you’re very motivated to move on, especially after the recent trauma and insult to your valued possessions. I sure do hope something pops around the corner that makes sense. Your troops are here with you,kiddo, sending good thoughts and hopes for improvement.

    • It seemed to me that it was a heads up from the powers that be P – this is what you can expect if you stay here even after I closed the doors so you can make your choice.
      If not for my troops, I dunno what would have happened!!!

    • That was my aim P, but in the actual city that will be too expensive. Not to mention her kids that are less than stellar mannered.
      On the outskirts though, that might just be possible.
      Will have to see…

  2. No matter how many times people try to deny it, the world really does revolve around money.
    I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with a decent plan soon. Just try stay motivated

    • I’m very motivated chickpea. And really going to try and get as far from the machine as I possibly can. I’m sick of pandering to other people’s chasing the money – can’t see why i have to do it myself.

  3. Ghia, ek completely identify met wat jy hierbo skryf. My advies (and you never asked) is: begin rondkyk, take it slowly, step by step. Klein plekkies op die platteland aren’t all born equal. Check it out versigtig. Want, soos jy hierbo skryf: Fact is, no matter where you go, there will invariably be people. People steal, lie, cheat, kill, maim. It’s just what they do.
    Maar, here tog, ek kom nog steeds om in die Karoo as in Gauteng. Dis baie personal, en daar’s ‘n lang storie agter alles (soos met alles) but there you have it.

    • Ek en die fotograaf het Dinsdag na Philipstown gekyk. Bekostigbare, super nice huise, groot oop erwe. moontlikheid van seisoenale water in ;n rivier wat mens kan opvang vir die droë tye.
      Ek weet nie regtig waarheen nie. Maar ek het groen nodig. An daarvoor het mens water nodig. en ek het al klaar gesit en dink hoe om met die gladdebek bruinmense oor die weg te kom, want ek geniet nie gladdebek mense so baie nie…
      Hier in die stad is alles net ‘n dolle gejaag na geld. En dis wat almal my vra. Wat gaan jy eet? Waarmee gaan jy ry? Ek gaan goed uit my tuin eet en ek gaan so min as moontlik ry.
      Maar ek was vandag weer vir ‘n onderhoud – sou dit gebeur, dan weet ek dat ek hier moet bly. Of dat die besluit net moeiliker gaan wees…
      ek sien sommer hier lê nog baie wroeging vir my voor!!
      en wat advies aanbetref – hoe meer ek kry hoe beter gaan my besluit geneem kan word, so doe voort!!

  4. Ghia, Phillipstown is net so duskant van waar ek bly (give or take a 100 or 200 kilometres). Ek het al vir 5 jaar lank nie ‘n kar nie. And I’ve gotten around (Korea / Caribbean) far more than I ever wanted to. So moet jou nie steur aan die kak van ‘n kar nie.
    Die gladdebekke, don’t warrie, binne ‘n week het jy almal op hulle plek. This is not Gauteng or Slaapstad, remember?
    Op die platteland is als wel nie ‘n dolle gejaag na geld nie, meer ‘n stadige, inkoherente gejaag na geld – but these are the times we live in, Ghia.

    • Dis juis waarvan ek wil wegkom.
      As ek nie elke maand ‘n verband en elektrisiteit en water hoef te betaal nie is ek alreeds super sorted.
      Maar ek besef sonder geld kan mens nie regtig nie, en daarvoor sal ek my orige groente en stuff van die hand probeer sit – mense moet mos maar eet of hoe?

      • God, nerens gaan jy GELD ontsnap nie, Ghia. Klaarblyklik. Weet nie wat om verder te se nie. Nie na alles wat vandag gebeur het nie.

      • Jy gaan moet vertel wat vandag gebeur het…
        en ja. Geld is ongelukkig orals nodig. Dan ook weer, ek het al geleer om my rieme redelik dun te sny. Het nog ‘n kar, so nog nie te dun nie, maar darem 🙂

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