Howdy!!!

IT’s been a while.

I’m completely without topics. Well, not really, but the words are not there just yet.

It would seem that Mr P and myself have been talking so much about so many things that I’m running dry!!!

Not really that either. A few things have crossed my mind, and as soon as the words are there, they will find the light of day.

This was just to let you know I’m still alive, still breathing, still getting to know another human in person. Still here as Mr P would say.

A few one liners to pass the time with, until we meet again…

Adieu!

http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Label Instructions
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In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???….)

On some frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

On Nanna’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.”(…and you thought????…)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:”Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (and…I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”(as opposed to…what?)

On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.”(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Nobby’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet,eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)

I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”

On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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19 comments on “Howdy!!!

  1. On packet of smoked salmon — allergy warning: this product contains fish D:

    I thought there was something wrong with my Android phone whilst I was away the last few days. Not one email notification of a post from you. Now I know why!

    How about a post describing Mr Photography, so we can all visualise him? For all we know, he could be an alien from Alpha Centuri with green skin and the sort of genitals that instantly retract under threat of a chainsaw, or perhaps ones that regrow if traumatised, like a newt’s tail does.

    PS My daughter is a terrible influence on me, the things we talk about. Both quite childish at times. I’m sure I’ll settle down a little once I’ve got out of holiday mode.

    • Having a kid does keep one up with topics of an under the belt nature πŸ˜‰
      A post describing Mr P… Now that will be an undertaking! But no. He does not have green skin πŸ˜‰ Very nice skin, but not green πŸ˜‰

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