The sky is again blue.
I, unfortunately, am filled with only resentment.
The beauty of this perfect day only serves to highlight the crapheap my life seems to be.
I resent the guys on bikes – because they don’t have to sit in the endless effing queues of cars, the neverending mass of humanity all wanting to go in the same direction.
I resent the money grabbers for building more and more houses along a route that used to be filled with forests and grassland, birdsong and an ecosystem. But money is always king, and what better way to make a quick buck than to build yet another effing Equestrian estate. Or yet another sprawling golf estate. Another place for the rich folk to “get away from it all”, and thereby screwing up the plebian’s route to earn the pittance he does.
I resent the people in their expensive cars. It means that they are either the boss, or high enough up the food chain that a few minutes late for work does not mean much in the bigger scheme of things. And even more, I resent the fact that so many of them can’t seem to grasp the concept of making a car go forward faster than 3 km’s per hour. I resent the fact that they end up in front of me, making me even later than I already am.
I resent my subconscious for screwing with my common sense this morning, making me leave later than I did last week.
I resent the fact that I have to leave my home 30 minutes earlier, yet, still get home at exactly the same time.
I resent my sister for her sudden Bible thumping ways. I resent the fact that everything I say has some or other line in the Bible to show me just how petty I am.
On this beautiful summer’s day.
I am filled with resentment rather than awe at the beauty around me.
I am filled with resentment rather than thankfulness at being alive yet another day.
I am filled with resentment rather than grace.
I should refrain from commenting on anything today – I’m sure my resentment will spill over into everything I do and say, and I’ll be hard pressed to keep that resentment out of my job.
Hope your day is quite a bit better.