I wish…


There are many thing I wish for.

Some regularly. Some hardly ever. Some just as an afterthought. Some fervently.

The one thing I wish for regularly and very fervently is to stop being the kind of person that pisses everybody off.

At work that is.

At home and in my private life, if I piss anybody off it’s not going to make a difference to my sleeping patterns.

But pissing off the boss at work. Or even one of the darkies at work. Well. There’s something that will definitely have an impact on my sleeping patterns.

As happened yesterday. The boss got pissed off at me. Not really about something I have any control over, but hey. That’s never stopped them before. So, she got pissed off at me. And now I can’t go for my regular morning and afternoon break. Now I have to sit here until I have lunch at 13:00. Because the boss got pissed at me, and she seems to be slightly vindictive. But hey. I suppose I could have done something differently, or said something differently. Alas, I did not.

Hence my fervent wish to not ever follow my own logic. To not ever question authority. To not ever pull my face. To not ever let people know anything.

Looks like I should become a liar Or at least, a better one. I should always hide behind a smiling mask.

Damn, I sound pathetic! You’re just going to have to suck it up – I’m actually dealing with the facts here! Park off in one spot. And, chances are, from now on, more will be found fault with – that’s usually how it goes.

It would look as if I’m completely fucked. And nobody even kissed me!

Well, so we all have our burdens to bear I suppose.

26 comments on “I wish…

    • At least you’re sort of settled in your job Esperanza.
      I’m on thin ice all the time…
      Just can’t win!! If you keep away from knowing the people, getting used to them, you’re bad. If you’re too familiar, it’s bad – just can’t win for losing!

    • Past that already H.
      Way past.
      I think they see something on my face or whatever.
      I seem to piss people off – it’s just my thing. The bane of my existence…

  1. Well, you have come this far, you have two beautiful children, a house, a job, a car, dogs, your garden, your books. How did you think you got them, by pissing someone off? You’re a great person. Eventually you’ll see that . . .

    • Everything’s sorted but the job young man.
      It’s in jobs that I invariably piss people off. And that has a direct effect on my home and personal life.
      It would seem that I’m not such a great person as you would have me believe, but thanks for the vote of confidence in any case – it put a smile on my face 🙂

      • That was the reaction I wanted. But think me naive, I still think you’re great, even if you don’t believe it yourself. That should say something . . . .

      • Would that I could see myself through your eyes…
        This situation just sucks ass, and I don’t want to be there anymore. Just hope it will sort itself out without too much aggravation.

    • I have Son – you are correct 😉
      I think, sometimes, while we’re in the throes of the problem, we don’t always see anything on the other side.

  2. That’s the worst thing about starting a new job, the only you can do is hang in there. Don’t change who you are, that’ll make you miserable. It will surely get better.

  3. That is a great perspective to hold isn’t it? To evolve into a person who no longer pisses anyone off, either at work or home. But to do that, would you not like to delve in and see what is at the core of your behaviour which pisses others off??


    • I think I have a fair idea of what is at the core of this happening Shakti.
      If I can change it, does not look possible – I’ve lived with it my whole life, and even though I’m better able to handle situations, I feel the repercussions much more strongly than I did when I was younger.
      Thanks for the read and the comment.

  4. One of the sad facts of life is that what floats to the top of the pond is usually scum.
    Is it part of the modern era, I wonder? I can remember many of my earlier bosses who earned respect by being admirable. And utterly fair.

    • I think I worked for one of those too long Col.
      Now I can’t handle the rest I have to kowtow too!!
      It could be me – I mean, I’m the one with the problem, not so? They did not have to deal with that, that’s why they are at the top I suppose.
      I dunno. Maybe, one day…

      • I’ve often wondered if that may not be it. That I’m intimidating to people.
        but, my dude one day said to me – if you keep on having the same kind of problem, can it really be the other side’s fault?
        I just don’t know what I should change to not have that effect on people. how does one change one’s being?

  5. can so understand this. Don’t you also find that some people are just popular because they are, where as others aren’t. I belong to the aren’t ones and it drives me crazy because I can never do anything to notch me up, even after working in the same place for nearly 20 years.

    • Oh heavens Ruth! I don’t care if nobody likes me. I just want them to realise that my personality does not detract from me doing my job. Do I like everybody I work with? Hell no! Does it affect how I do mine? Not even remotely. I just really want to be left alone to do what I have to do in relative calm.
      I’ve never been popular, or maybe I have in the way a cute, but scruffy dog may be popular – I’ve learnt to live with it.
      I just hope the current boss does not start looking for more mistakes and faults – where there may be some, but not as many as they usually dig up.
      This kind of thing ,makes me doubt everything I do, and that’s never a good thing in any situation.

      • Well, I sent a letter of apology on friday – eating craw or something, and I did get something resembling a smile and a conversation late in the afternoon – will see what happens 😉

    • Exactly.
      Time for the kid to become a high powered lawyer and make me the boss of his office 😉
      Or just pay me to stay away – that’s more like it 🙂

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