Further proof…

That the Blue Light Brigade are indeed a bunch of grabbing asses.


Picture this. Johannesburg, South Africa. R 55 through Midrand and surrounds. Single lane blacktop, peak hour traffic. That means you have one lane blocked with cars going into Sandton, and the lane coming back flowing freely with traffic going to Pretoria.

In front of me, a big black BMW 5 series with tinted windows and a funny light fitting in the back window. Behind me, more of the great unwashed that populates the roads in the mornings and afternoons. The usual taxis, and stupid females, but more about that later.

At first the traffic flows. We make good time. About 2 km’s into the road, it stops. Too many cars for the space available. The pig in front of me sits for a bit. I’m reading. Next minute I see peripherally, blue lights. Get a fright, I mean why now all of a sudden? And then I see that the blue lights are coming from the BMW in front of me. It would seem he got sick of having to wait in line like the people that pays for his fucking big car, and decides to use his might as a black man, in a black BMW, with tinted windows and a blue light fitting. And skip the traffic. I mean, we all KNOW he is just da man!! He does not have to sit and wait for the traffic to move. No sirree. He can just drive any which way, knowing that anybody that has an issue with him basically disobeying the law will be persecuted and villifiefd and victimised. Because that’s what happens in Africa. Some people have the might in their hands. The power of life and death over everybody. And they don’t seem to have the brainpower to deal with that power responsibly.

And then. The blondie. Now, I can’t say I have anything specifically against blonde women. More like a typical kind of woman. This one just happened to be blonde, but you get them in all hair colours, skin colours, ages, sizes. I’m talking about those women that can’t do anything other than fiddle with their hair and make up, in the car. Which means they can’t drive. Difficult to drive or concentrate on anything other than your astonishing beauty and lovely, flowing locks . If you’re that kind of woman. Apparently their brains are directly proportionate to their beauty. Or lack thereof. The more make up they need to look good, the less brain cells they have. I’m completely generalising now. I’m just heaping them all together in the one slot. Wrong of me, I know, but for the purposes of this rant, it will suffice. If I had a weapon, I would have shot her. Just swerve in front of me, blithely combing her fingers through her flowing locks, so much so that she almost drove off the road. Pottering up the hill while gently checking a smudge under the eye.

I really think some people should not be allowed to drive. Ever. They should either be chauffer driven or be left at home.

Or, better yet. I should become obscenely rich so I NEVER have to drive anywhere again in my life. Unless it’s with my huge truck, riddled with bull bars and tyres big enough to drive over these little cars everybody’s driving these days.


Some days really are a complete waste of make up.

weapon money


8 comments on “Further proof…

  1. You are HILARIOUS – and describe it so well. I saw what you mean myself yesterday morning – had to be in Jhb at 8 so left home at 6.20 am. Freaking scary how people drive (if you can call it that)! xxx and hugs

    • You have no idea how good it is to see you here DI 😉 Missed you!!!
      You see I’m not lying when I describe the cretins I share the road with!!
      Some people should not be allowed to drive cars. PEriod!

  2. I’m sooo glad I don’t have to sit in traffic. For now. Ek sou sekerlik lankal ‘n beroerte gehad het….

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