Feel guilty that is?
I thought I should maybe attempt the Daily prompt for once.
A guilty pleasure that you hate to love.
The question is, for me, Do I feel guilty?
When I buy a chocolate bar, or melt half a slab in a cup of hot milk? Nope, I don’t.
If I buy a magazine, do I feel guilty about it? Nope, I don’t.
If I spend a bit of cash on a lovely shade of nail polish, or a new eye pencil. Nope I don’t.
Reason being, I’ve made sure that everything’s paid that should be paid. I don’t take from Arthur to pay Martha. The money I spend is my reward for being me. I work every day. Don’t I also deserve a spot of spoiling?
For many years my life was filled with children and their needs. A husband and his demands.
Now, it’s only me. I’ve paid my dues to society. It’s my turn now.
Never again will I have to feel guilty because I loathe cooking – nobody needs me to feed them anymore.
Never again will I feel bad for buying myself a cool shirt – my children can now buy their own.
Never again will I feel guilty for playing my tunes a tad louder than needed. It’s only me in the house now.
I might feel guilty for downloading kindle books and pay for it with the credit card. But not for too long. Reading is more than just a pleasure. It’s the thing that keeps me sane. That allows me to fly away and share somebody else’s life, even if only for a while, and even if only in my fantasies.
I suppose if I dwell on everything that’s happened in my life, I could very well feel guilty dor some of the things I’ve done. And if I let it, I do.
At the end of the day though – does that make any difference to my life now? Will me feeling guilty change anything? Indeed, it will. It will rob me of the simple pleasure of eating a chocolate. Of reading a book. Of walking in my garden.
Therefore, I try not to do things that goes against my grain – because that WILL make me feel guilty – because I’ve disappointed myself. And that’s not a good thing to do.
I will take life’s little pleasures where I can find them.
And I refuse to feel guilty doing something that I enjoy.
Because I know I don’t do it often, I don’t harm anybody, and really. Life’s way too short to sweat the small stuff!