Saw a poster at the dentist’s yesterday.

That which you love, will be beautiful.

It was, to me, quite a lovely thing to think of this past day.

Brought to mind how often I just looked at my dude.

My kids. When they were small, I would just watch them sleep.Or play. Listen to them talk all kinds of things. Even now, I would look at their pictures and remember the small days. When I could hold them close to me, let them sleep with me in the bed, teach them how to count, and load videos into the machine šŸ˜‰ When they would just hug mom because they wanted to, without feeling awkward about it.

My dude.

He was not the world’s most handsome man. For me though he was hunk of the Universe. I loved to watch him walk, eat, watch a movie. Push his glasses up the way all glasses have to be pushed up. Loved seeing the satisfaction on his face when he gave me a freshly brewed cup of coffee in the morning. The smile on his face that one morning on Istanbul airport. The way he would close his eyes and bend his neck for another kiss. I still sometimes open our together pictures and just watch him. Although it hurts somewhat. It’s good to see his face. Hi there babe. Hope you’re still well. Hope you’re still thinking of me.

And I realised that with not a single one of my random dudes did I enjoy watching them. It did not fill me with any kind of pleasure to see their hand in mine. Or their faces across the table from me. Suppose that might be the reason they just stayed random. And never became anything real.

You don’t have to be beautiful to be loved. Suppose it helps to be eye pleasing, but it should not be the only reason you love someone.

If you can sit and look at a person. Count every line on their face. See every grey hair, the twinkle in their eye. When you find even the flaws beautiful, you know you love.

And, Lord knows, I’ve been looking for that beautiful person. Somebody that I can sit and look at, and never tire of their face, their hair, their hands.


Who knows?

He might just be out there.

Or it might just forever be my dude. And that will be all right too.





12 comments on “Beautiful.

    • Might be the case when you’re 23.
      When you’re 44 though, the pond starts getting stagnant.
      He might be out there, he might not.
      A good thing I’m relatively happy with my own company then šŸ˜‰

      • Oh no!!!
        Even old men my age want the jong bokkies like you šŸ˜‰
        I have to compete with the gorgeous cougars, the gorgeous MILF’s the gorgeous teenyboppers…
        It’s an uphill battle šŸ˜‰

    • This I well know Carol!!
      And I quite understand that nothing will ever be just what it was like. It has to be completely different. But certain things will just have to be there, otherwise I’ll once again be settling for second best.

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