Why. Oh why!!!

Do I always get the bloody crackpots?

Spoke to a dude this afternoon.

Seems like a halfway decent dude on the profile, he had added me to his fan collection, which means that he thought I’m also a relatively decent person.

So we chatted on Skype.

For about 2 hours.

About this and that and the other.

He’s what he calls, a dog. Everybody else being sheep, and criminals the wolves.

It went downhill from there.

Sheep should stop bleating about helping and make the dogs coffee.

I should get a gun so the next time a dude in a taxi threatens me with a tyre iron, I can do what exactly? Shoot him? And how is that going to go for me? Best is to get out of there as quickly as possible – which is what I invariably do. And I should borrow money for said gun. And if I can’t borrow money, I should get another job.

Farking hell!!!

This whole palaver has made me doubt my sanity.

I seem like a useless, spineless sheep. Content to let the world walk over me.

Does the fact that I don’t have full time employment mean that I have not searched enough?

Does the fact that I never have loads of cash mean I’m not a functioning being?

Does the fact that I don’t see the world in black and white mean that I am not worth wasting breath on?

I told him I don’t cook. In the few sentences where he suggested I keep the home fires burning while he hunts for poachers, I was told I should cook him an Eisbein. Or a lamb shank. And then he reckons that he will do that too. Since I don’t cook.

Because he’s just so completely well adjusted. And utterly able to do just everything! So much better than this particular sheep can.

FM gently George!!

I effing hate this!

Is it really too much to ask to find a decent, well-adjusted, white dude in his 40’s?

Is it really only crackpots and other colours and married men that sees anything in me?

Why, oh why!!!

It’s enough to make a woman lose every bit of hope she has left that somewhere there might be somebody actually worth spending bandwidth on!

Dudes, I’ve given you every chance. EVERY CHANCE! And all you do is throw it back in my face, making my viewpoints just that much more set in stone. I really try not to just see the bad in people. I realise we’ve all been through the mill. But hey man!! Don’t be a typical doos! Try and be something different. Let me see that there are good men out there. Men I can trust. That will give a shit about me. Not because I’m a sheep and it’s your job, but because I’m worth worrying over.

The glow of hope is getting dimmer with each passing random.

Alas, it is still there, however faint.

Therefore, I will forge onwards. something is bound to come along some time…



12 comments on “Why. Oh why!!!

    • I’m trying H. Really trying.
      You would have been down too, if you had to deal with the blokes I come across!!!
      Oh well, tomorrow the sun will shine again.

    • I’m sure it was the good stuff from Malawi AD, not majat 😉
      I’m thinking I’m going to have to take your mom;s advice – the strangers I meet are just too strange!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s