…has never been one of my vices.
I smoke like a chimney or a car with bad piston rings. On occasion I swear like a drunken sailor, but I can count the number of times I have been drunk on my one hand.
Of course, not drinking makes me a bit of a drag at most social gatherings where alcohol plays a major role. Not for me the complete and utter loss of inhibitions and control that comes with a good drinking session.
Yet another reason why I avoid big gatherings of people for the most part. Nothing worse than being the only sober person in a see of idiocy – something I can quite happily live my life without.
My current place of work though, deal in alcohol. Literally. They sell forgetfulness by the bottle 😉
Therefore, they have to know about these things.
Which brings me to the real topic of conversation.
I’ll be the first one to admit that I have a HUGE, gaping hole in my education regarding wine. Can’t stand the stuff, unless it’s a very sweet dessert wine. And even that I can only stomach in small quantities.
Now, you get wine. And then you get WINE. With cultivars and blends and all kinds of things. Now I’m not talking papsak here. These are the things that’s matured in this kind of barrel or casket, blended with another type of red or another type of white – don’t get me wrong – I know you get pinotage and merlot, and shiraz and chardonnay – I just don’t drink it. But have you ever heard anything quite as pompous sounding as a person waxing lyrical about the nose of a wine, and the body, and how the colour mimics this or the blend compliments that, or that they harvested the grapes too late or too early, or WTF ever!
It’s alcohol. You chuck it down your gullet and get drunk from it.
I get the feeling that people think I’m a cretin because I don’t drink wine. Think I’m kind of a stupid person because I can really not see the fun in carrying on about something that tastes worse than the inside of my ashtray. To me in any case. I like Jack Daniels. And Johnny Walker. Not that I drink them all that often, and there are a whole slew of people out there that can’t stand whiskey of any kind. One of the people here actually educated me the other day – apparently, just because I don’t drink, I don’t know anything about drink. So I was told that Jacks is actually a bourbon and not a whisky – which is exactly why I like it. And Jim Beam on occasion too.
But don’t think I’m stupid or ignorant just because I don’t like something. If I say I don’t like it, it’s not just because I’m being difficult or anything – it’s because I’ve tried it, and I did not like it. Sure, I won’t look all sopisticated talking in a snooty accent about this and that and the other with my glass of wine held just so, tilted just so – so pretentious!!
But don’t look at me as if I’m missing something great just because I can’t see the merit in drinking something that actually activates my gag reflex after a few swallows…if you’ll excuse the innuendo – or is it just me 😀
I’d much rather have a cafe Mocha. Or a chocolate milkshake. A warm cup of hot, sweet, milky tea. A well made cuppochino or a cup of Turkish coffee – those would be my poisons of choice.
Sure, you don’t generally hang up your hangups while drinking a cup of coffee. You don’t generally become a different, freer person either.
In my case though, I get to look myself in the mirror without worrying about what I did the night before. And if I do break loose, it will be with my faculties intact.
Now please, don’t misunderstand. If you like wine, I’m happy for you. That’s your choice. We all have things we like and don’t like. I’m not judging you in the slightest. That was not what this post was about in any way shape or form. I was laughing at the pretentiousness of people and their wines. Silly people!