Been spending time on this particular thought.
Thinking back on the young men that thought I was of that mien, the women I saw that was, and the interactions between the lot.
Women come in all shapes and sizes. Some are beautiful, some are pretty, some are attractive, some just average, and some downright ugly. Tall, short, fat, thin, cuddly, slim – many ways of describing females.
From what I’ve seen, cougars are usually tall, thin females. Wearing clothes not bought from Edgars or heaven forbid, Mr Price! Skinny jeans, short tops, perky boobs, perfect make up. The young men they’re with, are usually of the more attractive kind. Maybe not hunk of the month, but not too backward in the appearance side of things.
Once, in my random dude phase, a young man approached me – I was quite a bit older than him, but what he wanted was not my imagined sexual prowess and out-puttability, nor my patience, or intelligence. He wanted an older woman to sponsor him with cars and houses and watches and clothes. Since we all know once you reach the age of 40 you are completely sorted money wise, don’t we? I told him he’s barking up the wrong tree here. Firstly, I’m finding it hard to look after myself, let alone a young freeloader! Don’t even do that for my own kids!! And secondly, if a man wants to be kept, he needs to bring something to the table. And since it’s not going to be money, it had better be looks and stamina! And I doubt this particular dude had any of the 2 required attributes. 2 bricks high, and slightly pudgy – need I say more!!
Back to females. Some females have to work hard to keep their looks. Because said looks are important to them. They can’t handle the little crow’s feet, and laugh lines. Or the grey hair. Suppose they could handle them, they just don’t want to. Because their whole being is centered on how they look as opposed to who they are. And what better compliment to your youthful beauty than having a strapping young lad on your arm? What better affirmation of your ability to still draw attention, still focus the eyes of the room on you, than by being accompanied by a good looking young man?
And that, my dear readers, is why I doubt that I can ever be a cougar. Who I am is way more than the sum of my parts. Some parts are prettier than others, some even gorgeous. Some are saggy, and some are too big. They are, however, a part of me, and I’ve worked on and with them for the past 4 decades, and have grown very comfortable with them the way they are. Do I need a young man’s admiration to feel happy with myself? Do I need other people’s focus on me to prove that I am still a worthwhile human being? Do I need to spend an hour every morning to make sure that my hair is just right, that my make up is perfect, nothing smudged or out of place? Can I afford to go for constant facials and chemical peels and gel nails and such?
My answer to all these questions have to be no. I can live with myself just the way I am. I can look myself in the mirror every morning, and not faint with shock and horror. I just don’t need to hassle about everything. I could in all honesty not be bothered. Too much money, more time than I care to spend on stuff, and time taken away from sleeping 😉
If a young dude likes me, cool. If he thinks I’m mom, hey also cool. I am a mom, and I also know I’m not the worst looking mom out there. I look the way I do, and I am the way I am.
And that way is not quite the cougar way 😉
PS – heard people talk about cougars just now – the general consensus is that a cougar must be hot. That means, not even slightly overweight, good boobs, good ass, good make up, good hands, good smelling. In other words, high maintenance 😉