…knocks but once.
At least, that’s how the saying goes.
Warning. This post may contain profanity, and, depending on your point of view, observational racism. I say observational because that’s what it is. And actual observation, an actual experience, and not necessarily racism at all, although, the point of view thing is always there. And therein lies the difference between racism and observation. You don’t have to read if you don’t want to – your choice.
Africa, however, being the land of opportunity, you make opportunity if it does not come knocking. Or you steal it, as is evidenced by the current government issues.
This post is about driving skill. Or more to the point, lack of driving skills. Or rather, lack of road consideration.
The thing with traffic is that it’s slow. Peak hour in any case. It means long rows of cars standing, waiting to cross a robot, or a stop street, more cars joining the line, making things worse.
It also means that there are people that thinks that the road rules and regulations do not apply to them. These drivers are usually minibus taxi operators, but I see things are slowly changing. It’s now NOT only the taxi drivers skipping the lines along the side, to push in at the front of the line. I’ve seen white guys in their penis enhancing tank like SUV’s or 4 x 4’s. I’ve see white females in their penis enhancing tank like SUV’s and 4 x 4’s. I’ve seen young men, black coloured, Indian, white, heavily under the impression of their invincibly youthful vigour. All just ignoring the lines of cars, and forcing their way in front of the traffic – making everything worse, but hey, that’s not their problem!!
Mostly though, it’s black folks that does this. Observation only. And, since making opportunity is what makes Africa the, uhhhm, great place it is, pushing in front of one another is not frowned upon. Water always finds the easiest path. Same with African drivers. And that’s the way they operate, and it works for them. Not so much for me, but then, I’m in the minority, so my vote does not really count. Although it counts when I’m refusing to let them push in front of me.
At last, I come to the reason for this post.
Now you have a bit of background to the current driving situation in South Africa, maybe the following will tickle you quite as much as it did me when I saw it yesterday.
We’re standing in a long line of cars. Moving inexorably towards the turnoff. Black dude in front of me. Along comes another black dude in his rattle trap. Does not try to push in front of me – must have seen the daggers flying from my eyes, so he tries pushing in front of the black dude in front of me. And then the funniest, most unheard of thing happened. The black dude in front of me, drives around the in-pusher and gives him a tongue lashing of note! So much so that the in-pusher left the line and parked on the side 😉
I was floored! Had a good chuckle. And I have to wonder. Is there a divide in the black community regarding the in-pushers and the liners? Or is the European way of doing things rubbing off on some black people? Was this guy just fed up with people – regardless of colour or standing – that kept on pushing in front of everybody, making all the cars in the back of the line go that much slower?
If you want to get all philosophical about it, that’s the way life runs sometimes. You get the in-pushers and the liners. Not everybody can be one or the other, and most people don’t deviate from their chosen course of action. SOme will always push in, some will always line up. The liners usually get pissed at the pushers, but it’s the pushers that get to the beginning of the line quicker. Then again, if all the liners stood together, they could actually halt the pusher’s forward motion so that everybody reaches the beginning or the end, depending on your views, at the time they have been alotted.
The Human Condition – it’s inevitable really.
And then just a bit of completely flabbergasting, useless information.
This morning, on a national road, I saw something I have never in my life seen before. Not even in picture e mails from comfortable America.
A dude on a ride on lawnmower, in the middle of peak hour traffic, in an actual lane, holding up traffic. I was too stunned to get the phone and take a picture. Alas, the image is burned into my mind. Never to be forgotten, to be taken out and mulled over until the end of my time 😉
1. “I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.” – Michael Flatley
2. (On the difference between men and women:) “On the one hand, we’ll
never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own
jars.” – Bruce Willis
3. “And God said: ‘Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything
on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on
Satan.'” – George Burns
4. “What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
‘Hold my purse.'” – Sandra Bullock
5. “The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a
twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you’ve got millions of pals out
there. Type in ‘Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire’ and
the computer will ask, ‘Specify type of goat.'” -Jason Alexander (from
6. “Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.” -Carmen Boyle (Olympic
Luge Gold Medal winner 1996)
7. “There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.” – Henry
Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)
8. “My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee – the
natural enemy of a tightrope walker.” – Dan Rather (News anchorman)
9. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said,
‘Thyroid problem?'” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
10. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re
in.” – Courtney Cox (Monica on “Friends”)
11. “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” – Tiger Woods
12. “I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in
poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently
doing quite well for themselves.” – Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
13. “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured
by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.” – Axel Rose
14. “Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.” – Rev. Jesse Jackson
15. “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” – Jack