The illusion of reality.

Such is Sidey’s weekend theme.

I’ve thought about it for the whole weekend, wondering what to do with it.

It came to me yesterday while I was sitting at the Wimpy.

Of course, I was there alone. Earphones in my ears, tunes playing on my gorgeous iPhone, book, also on the phone, food in front of me, coffee to side.

Across from me sat a couple. Dude with his back toward me, chick looking my way every time I look up. Young people, probably not much older than 25 or so.

And I had to wonder, what does the chick see when she looks at me?

Does she see an older woman, happy with her aloneness, comfortable eating on her own in a crowded restaurant. A family spot where there are usually not many single people.

Does she see an unfortunate being, forced to eat on her own because nobody wants to share the little things with her?

Does she think I’m happy with myself and my life? Or did she feel sorry for me, sitting there on my own?

Such is the illusion of reality.

We look at people.

We see what we feel when looking at them.

We don’t know what boils under the surface. We have no idea if that person is sitting there contemplating the death of a loved one, or thinking about suicide. The wife looking at the husband and thinking to herself that she can’t do this any longer. Thinking about the visit to the divorce lawyer she plans on going to in the morning. The guy sitting there, paying with his gold or platinum card, worried about the expenses he’s not able to match come month end.

We see a family, looking well off, kids relatively well behaved – we think they’ve got it made. We don’t know that the child has a learning disability. Or is being bullied at school. or even by the parents. Abuse, bruises, money problems…

Or they look at me and envy me my single state. Able to do what you want, when you want, for how long you want. They don’t see that even that can become a kind of prison. That being on your own, while not the worst thing that can happen, can be a sad thing.

I do try to not judge just by what I see.

Since, if you have not spoken to the people, you have no idea what’s going on in their minds.



Just because i always enjoy this song πŸ˜‰



18 comments on “The illusion of reality.

  1. No, I did not like this sad/morbid post, it is unlike you. My girl we have never met or seen one another yet my girl i feel with you, but I know you have the guts to pull it through – don’t fail it because you are stronger. Hugs galore from the old man.

    • Thanks H πŸ˜‰
      No worries, I will make it one way or the other – always have, always will.
      It’s just, sometimes, I wish for something more. Most often I don’t even know what I’m wishing for, but the feelings never go away…

  2. It takes a lot of effort not to judge a person on what you see…
    I’d see you as a woman who is comfortable enough with herself to go out and eat alone when everyone thinks that it is one of the saddest things that a person could do. That is something not many people can do so you are part of an elite few πŸ™‚

    • You would see that, because that’s what you would like to be seen as. and I thank you, because that is indeed why I am able to have supper, or coffee, or even go clothes shopping on my own.
      Most people are so wrapped up in their own sense of couple-ness that they never see the comfort of being their own person, therefore, only experience my solitude as sadness, instead of the liberation it really is πŸ˜‰

  3. That woman might have been a people watcher. I know I am one, because it’s interesting,to watch people for imagined conversation and STORY. What a good character YOU might be in a stranger’s view.

    • Can’t say I really want people to watch me – that’s why I actively ignore them, int he hopes that they will do the same.
      Suppose I might be a good one to weave a story around πŸ˜‰ I scare people…

  4. I think that most people are so bound up in themselves, that they rarely have time to sit and contemplate the situation of strangers they may glimpse in passing. If you’re comfortable with your own company, I think it will show in your demeanor, and no-one will think of you as someone to be pitied. Hope your week is a good one. πŸ™‚

  5. Interesting post and very interesting comments, too! It’s very human to jump to conclusions about others, or project our own thoughts & ideas into what we think they are. How often during an argument do we really listen?

    I do pity people who stand by the roadside with signs… because like it or lump it, given a choice they’d rather do something else.

    Agree, it’s different to be on one’s own. Quieter. A bit too introspective, many times.

    • Very much introspective G.
      Then again, if you’re on your own, what choice do you have? I suppose it’s different if you have a partner somewhere and you just get out for a while, but if there’s no partner, just you – life has to be lived, regardless.
      Thanks for reading πŸ˜‰

  6. Nicely put. Life has to be lived, and we all do the best we can. Last week I happened to sit across two women in a restaurant. One of the women, the younger one, cried almost all the time. The other one listened but never touched or hugged her in sympathy. Yesterday the same thing happened, but this time it was the older women who did the crying.

    Now THAT makes me wonder. Mostly because I am an incurable nosy person, but also because I felt sorry for them.

    • Can only imagine what story those two would have to tell should you ask them.
      Pity we can’t just ask – get the answer, no misunderstandings or illusions – think life would be much easier!

  7. Pingback: The irrationality of the illusion we call reality « …les comptes du chat perche

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