It would seem…

…that I am utterly unemployable.

No matter what good words are put in, how well I try and sell myself, how much people pray for me.

I’m at the end of my rope.

Death is looking like the only option available right now. Sounds kind of defeatist I know, but really, what else is there?

I’m a useless being, not fit to grace any office. I’m just parking off at home, expecting other people to look after me. Or rather, not expecting, I just have to take what I can get from where I can get it.

Because I’m not fit for anything else.

Now I just have to find a way to get dead so that they don’t think it’s a suicide and refuse to pay out what needs to be paid out…


30 comments on “It would seem…

    • Really hard you say?
      When I’m likely to lose my house?
      That’s not really hard, that’s completely undoable!!!
      Getting dead is the only way to prevent that…

      • Sorry, was trying to take the polite approach.

        Getting dead might save those close to you financially, but you’ll be leaving them behind and all the belongings you leave behind will always be a constant reminder of that. I know all too well about that…

      • also sorry guy – feelings are running a tad high this side.
        I’m getting desperate with no real end to it…
        At lease, if I’m dead, my kids will have a house to use for whatever purposes. They don’t need a mom anymore.
        fact is, I can’t see myself sitting on the street, and that’s where I’ll end up should I lose my house.

  1. I’m SO sorry to hear you’ve hit rock bottom. We truly know how that feels. We held on to our house until we couldn’t anymore and ended up selling it, which broke our hearts. We are renting a tiny place, and still get sad and miss our home… it’s a terrible situation to be in.
    Your kids will value you more then a house… even though you are feeling so worthless.

    • If I have to sell my house I’ll end up on the street – can’t very well rent a place if you have no income…
      And my current bond is less than most people pay for a room, so I can’t see what good it would do to sell a place that only costs me R3000 a month and move to a spot that will cost me much more than that!
      The kids might value me more than a house, but I don’t – living on the streets or worse, in a room at my sister’s house is unthinkable!!
      Thanks for the hugs though jax.
      I can only hope that the new bunch of CV’s sent will bring a light at the bottom of the pit…

  2. Awww G, don’t think like that. You are strong enough to get through this. Your kids need you no matter what.

      • I didn’t realize you were not in America. Is it a big house? Is it close to some locations attractive to tourists? Maybe you could rent a room or a basement to tourists, you know, short teem – like a hotel. Have you ever considered it? Or a student might need a place to sleep… Even if the house is small, you could rent a little room with a bed. It would help you to pay bills, even if a little bit. What is your profession?

      • I might have to look at letting a room – just hope the kid whose room it is won’t mind too much having to sleep on the couch when he visits.
        Will see how I can manage that.
        As for profession – I don’t have one – usually the general office dogsbody!

  3. Oh, I’m so sad to read this, and can’t even begin imagine myself in the position you’re in right now. I see that you say you’ve sent out a “whole bunch of new CV’s” and that’s all you can really do. Don’t give up. Just keep trying and believing that one day soon, you’ll be successful. Sending you hugs and love.

  4. Please don’t give up J. When the going gets tough, it always seems like there is no way out. Hang in there my friend, I know it’s easier said than done. Thinking of you…*hugs*

  5. I never saw that coming. We here all had hope but remember, you might think you’ve hit bottom but NOW the only way is UP. Please don’t think negatively. Easy to say, I know.
    I remember when I moved to another town back in 1970/71. I couldn’t get a job because that was the year professionals became the scourge of the earth—they couldn’t find ANY job. After FIVE long months, I finally found a three-month temporary assignment which turned into a full-time job later—much later. During the time I was doing the temp job, I still went on job interviews but nothing (else) worked out. Six months later I was hired on as permanent on the temp job.
    Not to make your trial LESS, I admit the world economy is to blame for the lack of employment world-wide as it was in the early 1970s. I know this doesn’t help but might I suggest positive thoughts? Please?

    • Strange thing is Tess, there’s a lot of stuff being advertised. Most of them I can even do.
      I’m trying with the positive thoughts – not always possible. In fact it’s almost impossible for me to think positively.
      But I’m still alive for what it’s worth…
      Thanks 😉

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