Most of us have had kids.
Some still have them.
Some want them.
Some of us have big kids, some have small kids.
Chances are, if you have had anything resembling a committed relationship, kids would be part of that relationship, bar any unforseen circumstances.
Now, I think it’s supposed to go something like this :
You have kids.
You raise said kids – teach them right from wrong, how to behave in certain situations, make them go to school, do their homework – in all, trying to make decent adults of them. Something that’s apparently falling by the wayside these days.
Once they become adults and leave the house, you and your chosen partner live your lives as you can or want – with no restrictions or holds barred – no kids to worry about, see?
What happens when the course of that particular boat is interrupted?
Most usually, by divorce, but death does play a role in the demise of the “normal” relationship.
Although divorce creates a chaos all of it’s own.
For the sake of this scenario, I’ll use divorce. It’s what I know.
You’ve had your kids.
And then you get divorced.
You’re only one person. And you have to do everything.
Have to do the fetching and carrying, the looking after the family, fighting for money from the ex, listen to the kid’s problems, solve the ones you can, and ignoring the ones you can’t.
You get to have The Talk with your boys.
Your whole life gets taken up with making sure the kids are OK.
That they’re looked after and cared for.
And then they leave.
You realise something.
Your whole life has revolved around your rugrats.
They’ve ruled the roost.
If money had to be spent, it was spent on them.
You have not watched an adult movie in ages – but you are well aware of all the animation and blood and guts stuff.
And now they’re big.
What on earth do you do?
How do you climb out of the child rearing hole you’ve dug yourself into?
So you start dating.
Or you do something crazy like go to Iraq.
But you still don’t have a social life.
You have a life sure – books to read, music to listen to, games to play.
But where’s the partner that was supposed to be there after the kids have left the house?
Where’s the guy that you were supposed to get to know again?
Thing is. He’s gone. Busy with his own life.
Because HIS life did not revolve around kids for the past 15 years.
He was able to continue on his merry way, go places, do things, experience life without you.
Point I’m trying to make.
If you live your whole live just for your kids, you are the only one that gets left behind.
Because kids HAVE to leave. They can not stay with you. They should not be allowed to.
Make sure you always keep something of and for yourself – just in case you ever get to live the live you might plan on living…one day…