Abusive women…

…and the men that stays with them.


Ok, so this post has a bit of an intro.

Was chatting to a young man last night.

I think he’s delusional, quite mad actually. Or he might just be a lonely nutter, thinking up grandiose schemes to make himself look the way he thinks you want to see him.

As such, I did not believe a word he said, but it did give raise to a post of some kind.

Ah, the people I manage to surround myself with!!


He reckons that the current chick he’s got hits him and he’s got the bruises to prove it.

I don’t know if this is the truth, never having met him, hence, never seeing the bruises.

I do know that there are women out there that physically abuses their spouses.

And I have to wonder why they stay?

The men I mean.

Is it because of the same reason females stay with their abusers?

I know in many women’s cases, they stay because they don’t have a means to earn an income, no place to stay. They can’t fight back, or rather, they won’t, because by the time the hitting starts, he’s already crushed your spirit beyond recognition.

I have to admit that my first reaction to the telling of his story was ridicule.

Why would a big, strong man, stick around and let some puny chick hit him?

I will not tolerate that! Back in the day, the ex would have like to hit me many times – I can be THAT exasperating 😉

Told him that sure, hit me, you’ll hurt me much more than I can hurt you. Just remember, I have medical aid, I will heal, and you will have to sleep eventually – not many things you can’t fix with a baseball bat across the knees, applied just so…

But that’s me.

I go out, and even though it’s been rocky from the start, I’m still managing to keep it going to a fashion.


But I digress.

As a man, you usually earn more money. You are the breadwinner. Physically you are stronger than most normal females.

Why stay with a female that abuses you?

Is it because you like it?

Because you have recourse to opportunities – why stick around and endure something that’s not good for you?

Do abusive females also crush the man’s spirit?

Do they pick men that has a weak spirit in the first place?


Do I feel sorry for such a man? Or do I tell him to grow a pair?

Do I even bother trying to help such a man?

Past experience has taught me that it’s a difficult to try and get females out of that situation – for the most part they have been damaged mentally and physically, everything taken away from them, and even though there are numerous support groups for woman abuse, people that can help with a place to stay, a bit of cash every so often, you just can’t get the females in question to leave the abuser.

I don’t think there are as many places for guys to go to.

Guys should be strong.

They don’t have to stand and be hit.

Which leads me to thinking that they stay because it either gives them a sympathy card to play, or because on some level they feel they don’t deserve anyting better. Maybe they come from a household where the mom abused the dad and that’s all they know.

It’s a tough situation.

One I hope I’ll never be guilty of…


15 comments on “Abusive women…

  1. In my opinion, abusers are extremely devious people. They move in slowly and slyly and the next thing you know, you’ve been mentally and emotionally crushed. There’s a whole lot of denial going on in the head of the abused, because they think they love their partner and they think their partner loves them. At first they will make excuses for the partners behaviour and attitude towards the abused. Things like he/she is so stressed out, he/she didn’t mean it. It was a moment of a loss of self control etc, etc, etc. Women hurt men physically will also be excused by the abused. When reality finally sets in the abused is left with zero self confidence, zero emotional strength, quite frankly, the abused is nothing but a walking shell of fear and anguish. This applies to men and women.
    Shew, sorry about the long comment.

    • Oh you are absolutely right Esperanza – abusers are devious, sly creatures.
      And to get away from them is only 25% of the battle – the rest comes afterwards, when you have to deal with all the damage done…

    • Thanks Sidey 😉
      As for the abuse thing – I don’t believe for a second that this dude really is there – he seems to be a bullshitter of note!
      But yes – out and in therapy seems the best course of action…

    • I think he thinks I’m less intelligent than I actually am 😉
      Take everything he says with a whole bag of salt – not just a pinch!

  2. Maybe not this guy, but I am sure there are lots who suffer like that. My guess? I think in some cases the male partner might be too much of a softy or a gentleman to ever hit back. He would rather suffer in silence than face the embarrasment of people knowing about it. Fortunately never had the experience of being abused or being abusing.

  3. I think it all boils down to self-worth, man or woman. If you haven’t any confidence you’re stalled. I also believe some men would never hit a woman but having some experience, I would venture to say that somewhere along the line, a person wants to LIVE again and be real again. If they want that strongly enough, they bust out as best they can. But they need to want it, really want it.

    Maybe this guy thinks this is a good pickup line. Too creepy.

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