…and the men that stays with them.
Ok, so this post has a bit of an intro.
Was chatting to a young man last night.
I think he’s delusional, quite mad actually. Or he might just be a lonely nutter, thinking up grandiose schemes to make himself look the way he thinks you want to see him.
As such, I did not believe a word he said, but it did give raise to a post of some kind.
Ah, the people I manage to surround myself with!!
He reckons that the current chick he’s got hits him and he’s got the bruises to prove it.
I don’t know if this is the truth, never having met him, hence, never seeing the bruises.
I do know that there are women out there that physically abuses their spouses.
And I have to wonder why they stay?
The men I mean.
Is it because of the same reason females stay with their abusers?
I know in many women’s cases, they stay because they don’t have a means to earn an income, no place to stay. They can’t fight back, or rather, they won’t, because by the time the hitting starts, he’s already crushed your spirit beyond recognition.
I have to admit that my first reaction to the telling of his story was ridicule.
Why would a big, strong man, stick around and let some puny chick hit him?
I will not tolerate that! Back in the day, the ex would have like to hit me many times – I can be THAT exasperating 😉
Told him that sure, hit me, you’ll hurt me much more than I can hurt you. Just remember, I have medical aid, I will heal, and you will have to sleep eventually – not many things you can’t fix with a baseball bat across the knees, applied just so…
But that’s me.
I go out, and even though it’s been rocky from the start, I’m still managing to keep it going to a fashion.
But I digress.
As a man, you usually earn more money. You are the breadwinner. Physically you are stronger than most normal females.
Why stay with a female that abuses you?
Is it because you like it?
Because you have recourse to opportunities – why stick around and endure something that’s not good for you?
Do abusive females also crush the man’s spirit?
Do they pick men that has a weak spirit in the first place?
Do I feel sorry for such a man? Or do I tell him to grow a pair?
Do I even bother trying to help such a man?
Past experience has taught me that it’s a difficult to try and get females out of that situation – for the most part they have been damaged mentally and physically, everything taken away from them, and even though there are numerous support groups for woman abuse, people that can help with a place to stay, a bit of cash every so often, you just can’t get the females in question to leave the abuser.
I don’t think there are as many places for guys to go to.
Guys should be strong.
They don’t have to stand and be hit.
Which leads me to thinking that they stay because it either gives them a sympathy card to play, or because on some level they feel they don’t deserve anyting better. Maybe they come from a household where the mom abused the dad and that’s all they know.
It’s a tough situation.
One I hope I’ll never be guilty of…