A post with substance…

…is probably not what this will be!


Reason for that is that substance is not generally found in a disorganised mind.

Currently, in the darkness of my grey matter, the overall thoughts have to do with survival.

Finding a job, getting a paycheque, paying the bond and the accounts…

Underneath that, way underneath actually,  the thought that some kind of partner might not be a bad idea – you know, a shoulder to cry on or a broad chest to snack on. Or something.

In-between the general irritatedness with my sister and mom and the kids’ general sullenness.


Indeed, not a post of substance.



These are the things that I’m currently dealing with.

And what’s in the heart, or rather, the mind, will out – in this case in words, in this particular post.


And if I take a step back and look at the people around me, I’m inclined to think I’m not that badly off.

Sure, I will be unemployed in the not too distant future.

That’s only a matter of time though – my job is out there, I must just find it and start.

If I look at Em that has a dead oesophagus – might have to be fed with a tube in the future.

Or look at my sister’s constant battle with a husband that could possibly be a bit more involved in the home life.

Or my mom dealing with cancer and wanting sympathy from me…


I’m not that badly off.

I live alone for the most part – don’t have to worry about mollycoddling some man.

If the kids have an issue, they can sort it out on their own – big enough.

If I don’t WANT to see people, I don’t.

If I don’t want to speak to you on the phone, I don’t answer.

I have my books, my hobbies, my health.


All I need now is a job and I think my life would be just peachy.

Even though it sometimes feel as if I can’t breathe.

Life has a way of just moving along – regardless of what you’re dealing with, what you’re struggling with.

The days follows one another, sunshine and moonshine, rain and open skies – one follows the other.

On and on.

And one day you realise that you’ve made it through the worst.

You’re fine.






9 comments on “A post with substance…

  1. It’s true, you can always find people much worse off than yourself, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting the best for yourself. Holding thumbs for that perfect job for you, 68. xxx

  2. Hope you find another job sooner than later and as you it is the small mercies that count. Was out in the lower end of Steenberg this morning and there in a real bottom of the social class at Shoprite was a beggar in a wheel chair. Gave him something (usually I do not give to beggars) and looking at the wheel chair and decimated thin legs it crossed my mind that there but for fortune go I.

    • It’s easy to fall H.
      Not always so easy to get up.
      That’s why I’m trying my utmost not to fall too deep or too far down.
      Might just give up and not bother ever again…

  3. Keep counting your blessings babe. Job loss is a terrible thing to experience! (hubby and I are trying to recover from the 3 months he was unemployed)
    Will pray that a new job crosses your path soon.

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