on Contracts…

…and how much they suck ass…



I’ve been employed on a contract basis for the past 9 months.

Reason for that is that I managed, against my better judgement, to trust a so-called friend and gave up my only stability, early last year.

I was lucky to find this job as quickly as I did, for which I am eternally grateful.

I enjoyed working here, enjoyed the people – everything was just hunky dory.


Today, however, we got a bit of bum news.

They’re retrenching people from one of the other call centres.

Permanent staff members.

So, the permanent staff member has a slight issue being retrenched while there are contractors doing duty in other departments of the company.

Getting retrenched or fired is never a good thing – I know what I’m talking about.

Thing is, 95% of the people being affected is younger than 30.

They have a certain skill set.

They are ultimately employable, anywhere in the country, the world.


Me, on the other hand.

40 going on 45, no major skillset.

Just administrative skills – if you can call it that!!

I mean, even the stupidest monkey can push a mouse around…

Many responsibilities – have no mom to move back in with when the shit hits the fan.

I am the mom.

I have to make sure that there’s a parental home for my children to come back to when the need arises.

And how on earth do I do that without a job?


Where the hell do I even start looking!!

I’m too old.

Too white.

Know a little about a lot.

I am very aware that I’m not the only one.

I’m very aware that I won’t be the last one.

I am also aware that I can’t even solve my own problems – how can I handle other people’s?

So please don’t try to placate me by saying”At least you’re not alone” or some crap like that.

Thing is, I AM alone. I DON’T have anybody but myself to depend on. There’s NO other person that’s going to help me get through this.

It’s either me, or it’s nobody…


Seems the only real way out of this is to just remove myself from the face of the earth.

Then at least my kids will be sorted out money wise…

Just another failure in the so called life of 68Ghia…



4 comments on “on Contracts…

  1. don’t you dare say that your children would be better off financially without you! yes money helps, but they need you.
    must have been a rotten day today. Come on, let me see a smile, I can feel it coming 🙂

    • Ai Ruth, if only!!
      Doubt that I would do anything to myself, but still.
      The tunnel’s bend is still quite a ways from now…
      Here’s your smile 😉

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