…shoulda, woulda…

I should have gone dancing on Saturday night.

Or I should have stayed off line the whole evening.

Then I would not have the drama I have to deal with now.


Why is it that bloody kids think they are the only ones that can come and go as they please?

What on earth makes them think that I will just always wait around, without doing anything – because it might upset their equilibrium?

Yes, I’ve done it all my life.

Did not have any kind of relationship because I wanted to spare them the gory break-up details.

Now, however, they are adults.

With their own lives.

Surely now I can maybe try and do something about mine?


But NOooo!!!

You’re a mom!

You can’t have a life!!!

You have to see to it that my cat does not go outside.

That my bird is fed and watered.

Make sure there’s food for me to eat and clean clothes for me to wear.

And beware if my favourite shirt is not washed!!!

Fact that I don’t bother to put it in the wash basket is completely besides the point mom!!

If and when I decide to come home after my jaunts, I expect you to be demurely dressed, fast asleep, just waiting for me to come home and grace you with my precence.


Well, last night, that was not the case.

Mom was indeed not alone, nor demurely dressed.

She was, however, fast asleep.

With a rude awakening at 4am


And now the kid in question is highly upset.

Ashamed at his mother.

And not coming home.


Why should one even bother to try and sort out things?

I mean really! That’s just stupid!

I’ll just run away, go and squat at some poor guy’s flat until I find something to do.

Fact that mom’s slightly worried about said child makes no difference in his life.

And the fact that he’s probably going to screw up the job he started on Wednesday, on strength of his father’s name, that’s also besides the point.


As a mom, I don’t know what to do.

I can’t speak to the child.

All he does is fight with me.

So, I’m going to have to leave him to make his own mistakes.

Have you any idea how difficult that is?

Can you see how easily this will turn into a family feud?

One of those where we never go to the same place together, where I’ll have to find out from my mother how my child is.

On the one hand I want to just say, Screw-it! Can’t do this anymore! Can’t deal with your drama.

But on the other hand. This is my son. My flesh and blood. And all I want for him is to be successful.

All I want for both of them is a relatively decent life.

Something they can be proud of.


It would seem I failed miserably in my quest.

And it would seem that that failure will haunt me for many years to come.


The Americans are looking forward to Spring.

All I’m looking forward to is the utter demise of my, already shaking, relationship with my youngest son.


May G-d be with him.

He won’t allow me to.



12 comments on “Coulda…

    • Looks like it’s move out time for both of them.
      Oh well, it will cost me a lot less, and I won’t have to worry about kids and their issues!
      Very sad though.
      But I suppose he will have to make his own mistakes.
      We all have to.
      Thanks for the hugs Esperanza…

    • Unfortunately that’s the way of kids.
      I’m thinking, be glad you don’t have any!!
      They just bloody complicate everything!
      Sort of like men really…

  1. Very difficult to not offend one’s kids some of the time. It will come right, believe me. He just needs to understand whose house it is, and that you also have your own life. xxx

  2. oh my! now that i have stopped laughing so hard! the cat stood on some button on my laptop which promptly posted above before i had even finished typing!
    Ok, where was i?
    may i ask how old said son is? sounds like he does need to, unfortunately, learn from a mistake or two. i was kind of like that in my very early 20s. drove my mom insane, i think. it is so easy for the young to ‘forget’ that they are living WITH you, and life does not revolve around them.
    if i remember correctly, them living with you was only supposed to be a temporary arrangement anyways?
    maybe sitting them both down and laying ground rules might help a little bit?
    but in any case, i hope that you manage to get him sorted out.
    many big hugs to you hun

    • Hey chica.
      Eldest is the temp one.
      Youngest is the one with most of the issues.
      Looks like the eldest will be gone before long, and the youngest, at 20, is living with the person he’s going to work with.
      I can only hope that this works out for them both.
      Not much else I can really do.
      Onwards we forge…

  3. If he’s like mine it sounds like he’s preparing to jump ship from the job and is preparing you to take the blame.

  4. Already jumped ship Sar.
    Apparently working with the person he’s lodging at.
    I can now just stand back and maybe offer plasters and bandages eventually…

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